Today was a major step and I mean that literally for me. I had therapy and struggled with Occupational therapy and putting pegs in the hole because my hands shook so much but I did pretty good standing and the thing that is most fun about occupational therapy is we get to play certain games and they try to see how long we can stand. While I had to lean against something I did pretty good at the standing. We played Uno and I lost best 2 out of three but I think the occupational therapist cheated....just saying! lol. So, while I didn't do so well on the pegs I did d0 pretty good on standing and am getting better. Then came physical therapy. I knew we were working up to this but I never really expected to do what I did. I did all the basic exercises and while they were painful I got through them. Then I had a new pain in my leg. I can't quite explain it other than it felt like what I think a knife sticking me in the calf would feel like. The therapist checked me out and made the comment of how tight the calf was and then when we did the upper body exercise he felt my shoulders and said they were tight too. One of the symptoms of parkinsons is rigidity or tightness. Now, It is important to note that none of my therapist are medical doctors. My speech therapist has a doctor degree but it is in speech. Anyway, The physical therapist got a cane for me to walk and it had those 4 prongs for balance. While I took it slow we walked 110 steps with the cane!! It was amazing and given that I was told by my last physical therapist to just get used to the walker it felt like such a triumph!! It was amazing. I was very tired after but I had walked on a hard floor with a cane and it means I am making progress. After physical therapy came speech therapy. Dr Henri prepared me in case we don't get any answers from the neurologist. Are we ready if he says conversion disorder again or whatever. But, she said that she felt if he does say conversion based on her observasions that the next step is MUSC or Augusta but that she thought we should take a break and just continue with therapy. She reiterated (sp) that she did not feel I could do 20 hrs a week at work but she completely understood why I wanted to try so hard and at least it would show them how much I want my job. One of her major concerns for me is safety and driving. But, the final say on that will come from Dr Griggs. Dr Henri is just very compassionate and caring and we are beginning to work on phrases that I would use on the phone. My voice is fine it is the fluency that is the issue. She also said the reason I am better at home is two fold. First, I can take my medicine and I am in my comfort zone and feel safe here so I would naturally speak more fluid than in a public setting or outside the home. She also feels as do all the therapists that there is a medical problem. They all kind of laugh when I tell them the psychiatrist said I was faking. So, I have to find a way to let that go and just move on. He was wrong and no one else believes him and that really makes me feel better. I know I am getting the best of care and forgiveness is a part of my Christian walk just like with the investigator. I have to find a way to forgive him too and I have asked God to give me a heart of forgiveness. So, today was a big day. One of accomplishment, caution, and reassuance. But, one where once again, I came home and my children were home safe and sound and my wife still loves me no matter what and God is good. Oh, one other thing, Dr Henri is from Orangeburg and I found out today she knew my Aunt Frances Rast and so there is even more of a connection there. I am just so glad I am where I am and while it may take time, I am making progress. So, it really does get back to how much will the job work with me. We will just have to see.