Once again, I saw that hard working Joanna helping a patient and going above and beyond her duties. What an employee!!

As for my blog, today was the hardest day I have had to date. I was exhausted after. But, I am clearly making progress. I walked on the walking bars without my walker. I still had to use the bars but I did it. It just took so much effort and I think that is why I was so worn out. My pain is still in my wrist and top of my foot but now it has spread to my ankles and hips. It really hurts but it is not a workout kind of pain. It is just pain. Speech is progressing and I am making statements but there is still tremors in my voice but my length of holding a note during one of the exercises is pretty good. My scores on the metronome have kind of settled down and not really changed. They are good but I seem to have settled in the 56 -60 range. Which 60 is good but I want and need better. My speech therapist is so wonderful and is willing to do anything to help. I have some homework and I need to get on that. She thinks I am putting too much pressure on myself and she is probably right because I really want to keep my job.

Now for my pity party. As you already know based on previous blogs my claim for disability has been and may still be being investigated. I have not heard any further on that other than they approved my claim the day after the investigator left so I assume that is good news. But, I have thought so much about this and to think that I would miss out on so many things on purpose like swimming parties and softball games and pushing the swing for my children and just enjoying them is beyond stupid just to be on disability. But, despite that the facts are those are just a few of the things I have missed out on. I know we are supposed to focus on the good things and I do try to keep a positive attitude and feel I do a pretty good job for the most part. But, I would give most anything to get in the pool with my kids. To be able to push them on the swing. Even to vaccuum the house and cut my own grass. All things I used to do without hesitiation and now I have to pay someone to do those things and others get to swim with my kids. I have to admit it does hurt and it is starting to get me down. I guess after a year I have a right. And, now, I may lose my job and then what happens. I just want my life back and I want to walk and swim and do the things I used to do. So, I guess that is my pity party for tonight. Writing it out helps but doesn't change the facts of my situation. This is my life and I have to accept that and learn to live with it and trust God and his plan no matter what it is.