Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Today was a pretty typical day. Not much going on other than getting the kids ready for their day then taking Cottia to school. After I dropped her off, I had an appointment for counseling in Lexington so I stopped by the Wal-Mart on the way to get some things. Riding the cart is in some ways embarrassing and others kind of fun but I can't wait to be able to just walk around the Wal-Mart. Counseling went well then I came back home. I was very tired and my leg really hurt so I rested then got up took a shower and did the dishes. I used the walker because I felt so weak and didn't want to take any chances. I'm waiting on Emily and the girls to get home now and thought I would take a few minutes to blog.
I have been doing a lot of thinking about my condition and really wonder how much of what has happened was caused by the incontenence issue and the way my former employer handled it. If they had provided me with proper accommodations maybe this would not have happened. It just seems very conincidental but I am not sure if it can be proven.
Well, that is about it. The girls have Church tonight and tomorrow will I have rehab. I know I'll ge tired but it makes me stronger and is the best treatment for me right now.
I pray God's richest blessing on you all and that his perfect will would be done in your life.
t

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Well, we had a great time in Virginia for Thanksgiving. I just feel bad that Emily had to drive the entire way both up and back. The pain in my legs was very intense on the way up but not as bad on the way back. I almost fell once while up there but managed to get control. I also had tremors and those are never easy and always take it out of me. But, I managed to get through. I am glad we went as Emily's grandmother is not doing very well and she is so special to Emily and to me. Emily pulled so much as she made a great thanksgiving meal and cleaned her grandmother's house. I did all I could with the girls but taking a shower was a real challenge and was my greatest fear.
We made it back home safely last night and this morning I had to get some medicines taken care of and also got my date set with the movement specialist. Right now it is Feb 22 but I called and requested to be put on a waiting list in case they can see me sooner. I know it is a long shot but if we can get in December then I will still be covered under my old insurance which is better than the new.
I am still hoping that I can get some more business with Colonial and some more coordinating done so I can start to build some business.
The girls are doing well but my mom suffered congestive heart failure while we were in Virginia but she is coming home today from the hospital.
What really worries me is the pain in the left leg. It is getting worse and I may need to see my doctor just to be the safe side.
Right now, I am very tired which is normal after doing the slighest thing and today just going to get my medicines was a chore. But, I have so much to be thankful for that I need to focus on that.
I have rehab this week and counseling tomorrow so I have a busy schedule ahead of me. I am really hoping to be off the walker by Christmas and so does Cottia.
Well, that is about it. I plan to watch a little tv and then to get some rest for today. One final thing the Gamecocks beat Clemson for the third straight time 34-13 and Virginia Tech beat UVA 38-0 so it was a great weekend in football!!
Well, I hope everyone has a great week and may God bless you all.
t

Monday, November 21, 2011

Wow, it is hard to believe that this is my 345 blog but it is so let's get started. Eva did not have a good night. She woke again about 3am which makes the third straight night she has done that. Earlier in the evening she told me she had a nightmare about me and she had dreamed it the night before. All this coming from a 3 year old. Well, she came around and I rocked her but even that didn't seem to comfort her like I wanted. Eventually she did go to bed but those 3am wake ups are not easy.
I had some things to do today which really took it out of me but they had to be done. I was exhausted by 10am and had forgotten my medicines and the PVC'S began and the tremors did too but I did eventually take the medicines and was able to lay down to get some rest. I'm still worn out but I got done what I needed to do. My leg is in a lot of pain but nothing I can't handle. My hope is that it gets better as time goes on and I continue to work out.
Well, that is about it. Not a lot to say. But, we leave for Virginia tomorrow. Please pray for Emily as she will be doing the driving and for safety for our family and all those that will be traveling. I pray God's blessings on everyone that reads this and that his mercy will rain down. Once again just in case this is my last blog before thanksgiving I pray God blesses your time with your family and friends.
Happy thanksgiving
t

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Well, today was Sunday and so it meant Church day. So, we went to Church. One thing I have noticed it just how much pain my left leg is actually in. It stays cold and the calf part is really painful. My toes also tingle from time to time and sometimes there is pain there as well but I don't see the toes spreading apart as much.
Something happened last night that I did made me take notice. I began to tell the story of the rape when I was younger and my right hand began to really tremble. The tremor lasted quite a while and I don't know if the two are connected but it does seem to be a strange coincidence. The tremor did not move to the rest of the body but it kept me from typing for a few minutes. I know memories like this can be very painful but this is the first time that I have noticed a tremor associated with me reliving the rape from so long ago. I felt my heart racing and my blood pressure certainly went up and I felt the pacemaker working.
I could not sleep so Jason and I stayed up watching some stupid movie and it helped me calm down and eventually I was able to calm down enough to fall asleep.
Well, that is about it. I had several neck tremors today but nothing major and I didn't feel much like singing but I did sing to my baby tonight before putting her to bed.
We leave for Virginia Tuesday and Emily will have to drive the entire way. She has done so much and I know she is exhausted which makes me feel even more worthless than ever. I just want my life back and to be productive. Emily is so strong and I am blessed to have her but I will admit that I don't tell her enough.
Well, that is about it. I'll try to blog some while in Virginia and but I am not sure how much I will be able to.
Once again, as for the weight if I have regained some it does not appear to be much but I am good with that. Frankly at this point, I don't care. I just want to work and contribute to my family
I hope everyone has a great thanksgiving and pray God's righly bless you all as his will sees fit. May God bless our country.
Take care and God bless.
t

Thursday, November 17, 2011

The day started out rainy and dark but ended up being a pretty nice day. My left leg had a lot of pain and the wrist is really hurting. But, I'll survive. I did have a neck tremor that was pretty bad while trying to help Cottia during her homework. She is so sweet and gently reached out and rubbed my back to help calm me down. She is also very smart and knows just the touch of her hand can calm me down.
Eva had a hard time going to sleep which is unusual for her but eventually we were able to get her to sleep.
I'm having some chest pain tonight and the PVC's seem to be worse than usualy. I'm not sure why but it has been increasing lately. Might be due to the holidays but who knows for sure. I have also noticed the tremors are happening in the night and it worries me that Emily might not be getting enough rest.
Well, that is about it. It seems I am still at the same or close to the same weight I have been based on my cloths but who knows for sure. I still trust God and his plan whatever it is. My arms tingle and there are times I feel I can't go on but he sustains me and so I continue. I pray his blessings on each of you who read this and that he will smile on you for all eternity.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Today was therapy day and I think things went pretty well but my right wrist is in a lot of pain. I didn't do any walking for physical therapy but I did do the bike and leg exercises. My left leg was very weak feeling but my right did fine which is kind of the norm. Still not sure why my left side continues to feel weaker than the right.
Still no date set for the trip to Charleston but hopefully it will be soon. I am now not expecting it to be until after Thanksgiving.
Cottia has an infection and the doctor put her on an antiobiotic and she came home with me. She did sleep a little but her throat is really sore and she is resting in the living room watching TV. I think she will go back to school tomorrow but we will have to monitor her situation and see how she feel.
Well, Emily and Eva just got home so I'm going to end now. I hope everyone has a great evening and pray God's blessings on you all.
t

Monday, November 14, 2011

Today is Monday and I have already had a full morning. It actually started last night when Cottia did not feel well. She was running a low fever and had a hard time sleeping but I gave her some medicine and she seemed better this morning. I did sleep pretty well last night and only had a few tremors nothing as major as Saturday night which is good. I took Cottia to school then went to Food Lion to pick up a few things. I have gotten used to riding in those little carts and it is actually kind of cool but I tried to walk once and nearly fell so I know right now I need to keep riding in the cart. After that I had to take off the trash as long as I stay against the truck I am ok. Then, I had one more stop to make before coming home. I fed the dogs and started a load of laundry for the girls so Emily would not have that hanging over her. I have learned how to move through the house with the cloths and while I have fallen a few times the cloths seem to soften the falls and so no damage done and it is something I can do to contribute to our family. I am now completely worn out. I so want to be productive but I also don't want a set back but now I just need to rest and regain some composure. I am a bit dizzy and my left arm is tingling a bit but hopefully it will settle down now that I have taken my morning meds. I guess we shall see.
I think Emily had a good nights sleep last night and that is my biggest concern right now. I just want her to get the proper rest.
Eva seems fine and is her usual self again. It is great being my girls father. Well, that is about it. I hope everyone has a great day and I pray God's richest blessings on you all. Have a great day!
t

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Today is Sunday morning and I am home because I had a really rough night with tremors. I'm exhausted and I know Emily has to be. I had to grab her hand to steady myself but the tremors continued. Eventually the tremors settled down and I was able to get up and take some medicine but I still did not sleep very well. Now it is important to note that I did sleep pretty well Friday night and actually went to bed around 9 and slept through the night. I even slept some on Saturday afternoon when I usually watch football but I was just so tired. I know I have had tremors at night before and even last week but I don't know if they are going on while I am asleep which worries me for Emily's sake and her much needed rest. I just wish they could figure out why I have these tremors. I did not fall this week but I did stumble once. Hopefully the movement specialist will have some answers but so far still no date is set.
I decided to deactivate my facebook page for several reasons. I may reactivate it at sometime but for now I think it is best that I just leave that alone.
Well, my wrist is really in a lot of pain right now so I am going to stop right now and just wish everyone that reads this the best. I pray God's blessings on you all.
t

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Well, today is Thursday and I know I haven't blogged in a few days but the pain in my wrist is really rough and the pain in the rib area is also painful. For the most part I have slept pretty well until last night so I had to get up several times in the night due to the pain. But, I did make it through and am still breathing ok so I don't think there is a break just the bruise the doctor talked about. But, I had to cancel my rehab both days this week which I hate but I did go to counseling yesterday even though I probably should not have as I was a bit dizzy. Today I had to take the pain meds early so that meant no driving. Well, still no word from MUSC but I am hopeful to hear something soon.
The girls are doing well and growing like weeds. No new stories to tell just the normal things that go on in a home.
Emily seems to be holding up ok but I know she is under a lot of stress and I just pray she will be ok. God has a plan and we are just going to continue to folllow his will. I pray his blessings on you all and that he will touch you in a special way. Love to all.
t

Monday, November 7, 2011

Well, today is Monday and my right arm was a bit swollen and their was a bump on the wrist so I decided to go to the doctor. I'm not going to blog much but he said there was no fracture unless it was a hairline fracture but there certainly was a sprain. He also said that I either has bruised ribs or maybe a broken rib but they treat them both the same way so there was no real reason to do an x-ray. He did say if I wanted to have one just to show one way or the other he was writing me a prescription. But, I don't see a need to do that. It would be different if they treated them differently but since they don't then I see no reason to have one done. He did prescribe a stronger pain killer until it passes and then I am to go back on the Tramadol. I am very sore and a bit dizzy from time to time but I am dealing. Ironically enough one of the ladies that witnessed the fall was there and she said the when I fell I wrapped my arm around the walker and my arm was stuck under the walker which explains why I am so sore on the upper part of the arm. The doctor said to take it easy for a few days and I should be ok from the fall. I am breathing ok even though my chest is sore which is why he leans more towards a bruised rib or ribs than a fracture.
The girls are fine and seem to like touching the wrap on my wrist so we kind of make it a game. Cottia did her homework without question and Eva was ready for bed it seemed like as soon as she came home probably due to the time change.
Emily seems better from her cold but I know she is exhausted and I just wish she could get some proper rest.
So, that is about it. We keep keeping on and know God is in control. I pray his blessing on everyone who reads this and hope everyone has a great night. Always remember there is always someone is worse shape than you are. It kind of keeps me going.
t

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Today is Sunday and Emily is not feeling well. But, she got up and got the girls ready for Church while I got ready to go. I still don't have a chair for the shower but I am learning to take showers without one. It is hard and I am exhausted after but because our shower is so small I am able to lean against the wall and take the shower. So, we left for Church and it was great to have Jason here. He helped a lot with the girls and they love him so very much and he really seems to like the role of big brother. Well, we got to Church and folks were nice enough to help me with the girls. After breakfast I headed to the sanctuary for the praise and worship team practice and so we could practice "When I Survery the Wonderous Cross." which we hope to perform at some point when I am ready. I'm not sure what happened other than I was excited because I felt the practice went so well but I got up to move to the back of the church and I think I took a few steps and then fell. Everyone came to my assistance but I really needed them to just go back to normal. I was having some tremors that I remember but wasn't sure if I had hurt myself or not. Luckily for us we have a paramedic who came and checked me out. My heart rate was a bit high and she took my blood pressure but it was pretty good so the only thing out of normal was the heart rate. I went to the back of the Church and just decided to stay in the brides room until the service was over. The pain did begin to build and I began to wonder if I had hurt my wrist. So, I didn't wait, I got Jason and the girls and we left right after church. I had to take him home then we stopped by to get some lunch from Wendy's through the drive through. We came home and Eva went to take a nap. Emily also was able to take a nap and I laid down. I know I had tremors because I felt them while laying down and they seemed to be pretty intense. But, after the nap, I really felt the pain. It is in my left arm and some in my legs. There also is some in the lower rib area so I think this fall may have been worse than I originally thought so I will see how I do tonight before deciding to go to the doctor tomorrow. Right now, money is tight for everyone including us and if I can endure the pain then there is really nothing the doctor can do so I would rather not spend the money. Even my neck hurts some and I have a bit of a headache. So, that was our day. I do need to mention that I woke with pain in the legs that was more intense than usual so maybe I was just weaker than usual today for some reason. I just don't know but these falls really do worry me and I want some answers. Hopefully we will get those answers when we go to Charleston.
Cottia was very attentive to me and is being very protective right now. Eva does not really understand so that is good and Jason was sent around to check on me. But, I really didn't want him or any of who I consider my children including chloe or jessie to see me like that. But, at least they did see me back on the pew and not on the floor.
I'm just glad today is over. I don't have a lot of funny stories today like I have been trying to do other than to say that kids really have a way of handling things and bouncing back.
Well, that is about it. I hope and pray tomorrow will be a better day and I pray God's blessing on everyone who reads this. May his grace be with you all.
t

Friday, November 4, 2011

It's hard to believe it has been Tuesday since I have posted a blog. But, a lot has happened and I have found myself busy and also tired.
First, Eva has thrown up the last two nights and has a bit of a cold. We have had to bath her and the poor thing has just been miserable. But, she seems better tonight just a little snotty nose. Hopefully she will get a good nights rest and feel better. Emily took her to the doctor and he put her on an antiobiotic.
Cottia has gotten smiley faces this week and I am so proud of her. She continues to be my shining star and I love both of them so much.
I had an issue with incontinence this week which I had thought I was over but it appears when ever I have an issue I am going to struggle with this. It is frustrating but the doctor said there is nothing he can do.
I know Emily has to be tired but I am hoping she can get some rest this weekend. We are going to have lunch with an elderly lady from our Church tomorrow and I always enjoy those moments with her. She makes the girls feel so special and so that should be a fun time. My biggest concern will be getting through her house but I'll manage somehow.
My leg continues to hurt quite a bit and the cramping is getting worse. The pain in my foot is still there but it comes and goes. The back of my left knee is really starting to hurt and my thigh is also in pain. Still the left side is weaker than the left.
Still no date on the appointment in Charleston but I just hope it is not going to be the week of Thanksgiving. We will just have to wait and see.
Well, that is about it. God is still in control and I continue to marvel at his grace through all of this. Thank you all again for your care and concern and may God richly bless you all. Have a good weekend.
Oh, tomorrow my friend Bill is coming down to watch the game and I think Jason is coming over too so we are looking forward to having them both in the house and I want to thank my friend Shannon Jones, his son, and wife for moving our wood box and filling it for us so we can start building fires to save of heat bills. One thing I know about myself is how different I am now as compared to even a year ago and how cold I get so I really appreciated their help.
Again, take care and God bless.
t

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Today was therapy day and it went pretty well. While walking with a cane I nearly fell but I didn't and the physical therapist was there to help. My legs just felt weak and I was tired but I got through it. Speech went well and we are going back to twice a week with speech and as it appears I have enough sessions left to last until the end of this month then there will be no therapy during December. But, we will cross that when we get to it. The pain in the calf on the left leg was pretty bad and the cramping is getting worse but still bareable. My left foot went numb but I fell towards the right but I think that was because I was putting most of my weight on the right side while walking with the cane.
I came home pretty tired and rested the rest of the afternoon. I did get a call that it will be probably another 2 weeks before I know when I am going to MUSC. The records and request has been sent but it takes about 2 weeks to get the appointment then they will set the date. I am ready to get this done and make that visit.
The girls are doing well. Eva seems to have a bit of a cold and Cottia had a little bit of an attitude this afternoon but she was probably just tired. They are both resting and I pray they have a peaceful night.
Well, that is about it. God is good and we are watching him work everyday. I pray God will richly bless you all no matter your circumstances in life.