Saturday, October 30, 2010

Today, we celebrated my youngest daughter's second birthday. What a special lady she is. She was so cute opening all her presents and eating her cake. God has truly blessed me. The pain in my left shoulder is becoming unbearable. It is in the very top of the shoulder but it really is uncomfortable. I wonder if the pacemaker or the wiring is up against a nerve. I think I need to call the doctor yet again.

I am scheduled for surgery thursday. I am really not looking forward to it but I understand why it needs to be done and done now. My disability will start being reduced this week so we will need to tighten our belts. We can get through it though and God is always good.

Thank you again for all your prayers and concern for me and my family.

t

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I went to the surgeon today and they examined the hemorroid. I was told that since it has been there for more than 3 days it is not going anywhere. He said the medication I am on is the best but if it is not better in the next day or so I am looking at yet another surgery. That would make 4 surgeries in 2 months. My body has been through so much that I am just exhausted. I have to discuss with my disability what we need to do from here. My last understanding was that if I remain out past Nov 1 my income would be reduced to 70%. The issue for us is we have already met our deductable so any further hospital issues will be covered and we would not have any expence. But, my income would be reduced. I still have 3 weeks I can take and receive disability income however and that is a comfort.

On another front, I worked very hard in the house this afternoon. I vacuumed and put things away. I am so tired and sore. It is just so frustrating that I am limited in what I can do. I have always been so active in helping my wife with cleaning but right now, I just am not able to.

I am not sure if I will be able to update the blog the next few days as family will be here for my youngest daughter's second birthday. My time on the computer will be limited.

Happy Birthday EVA!! Daddy loves you so much!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Today I had my review with my cardiologist. He said they did monitor an event. He said it appeared my heart was trying to race. He said sometimes those things happen and said he wants to see me back in Jan to do another x-ray of the heart and to see how the pacemaker is doing. My BP was a bit high so he said for me to start taking diovan again. After I left his office I visited my office. It was great to see everyone. They all complimented me on how I looked and all the weight I have lost. That really made me feel special. Then, it was off to my gastro. He found that I have a thumbal hemerroid (sp). I have to meet with the surgeon tomorrow to see if I need yet another surgery. Gosh I hope not. It seems I just can't catch a break. Oh well, tomorrow is another day.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Good morning! I walked again this morning. It isn't a major walk but, for me, it is a huge deal. I walked for about 10 minutes. The PVC's have started which I expected. I think I have learned that being tired usually triggers the PVC's. So, rest is the only thing that seems to help. My wife wants me to ask the doctor about another medicine some of her friends are on so I will do that the next time I see him. I also have some strange pains in my sides. Sitting in Church can be very painful and I think it is because my arms are not supported. If I go and sit in the back of the church in a chair the pain seems to get better. The only difference is my arms are supported in the chair and not in the pew.

My weight loss continues and I feel good about that.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I really don't have very much new to blog about. I seem to be about the same. Still dealing with PVC'S and chest pain but apparently it is nothing to worry about. I am now able to eat some things which is great. I hope to continue experimenting with what I can do with food. My strength does seem to be getting better but I still get so tired. It does seem to me the PVC's are worse the more tired I am. So, I guess I am learning the lesson to get the proper amount of rest. I had a really good day today. I went to my daughter's soccer match and even though I got tired, it was worth it. We had a pumpkin carving at the Church this evening and I was able to enjoy that as well. Bottom line is God is soooo good and I am nothing without him.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

My oldest daughter is 5 years old. Many times she has said "this is the best day ever!"Well, today, her daddy is saying this was the best day ever. It started this morning when I went to her school to attend story telling time with her. They brought her around and her little face lit up as she saw me sitting there. She came and sat beside me. They offered her the opportunity to sit up front but she said no she wanted to sit by her daddy. The story telling was a lot of fun and we both enjoyed it greatly. After the stories were over, I signed her out of school to spend the rest of the day with me. We went to lunch and then left for the fair. She fell asleep on the way over and slept very hard even snoring a bit. But, finally she woke and we went in. I knew it would be rough on me and I was going to get worn out but I didn't care. All I wanted was to spend time with her. She rode ride after ride and her face just lit up with joy. But, she asked me if I would ride with her. I thought about it and decided to give it a shot. You see in years past I would not have been able to ride with her due to how big I was. I had to sit on the sideline and watch her but now I felt I could give it a shot. I didn't care if my heart exploded all I wanted to do was make her happy. So, I got on with her. We rode several rides together and she just smiled and held on to my arm like a girlfriend. Her face was bright with joy and happiness and I was a dad who could ride fair rides with his beloved child. We held hands and walked around the fair together. I just could not believe that I could fit in those rides and didn't care that my heart was skipping beats like every other beat. It just didn't matter. My arm even began to swell where the pacemaker is and still it just didn't matter. I allowed her to play a few games and she won three prizes!! We finished the day watching the pig races. She was even chosen as a cheerleader but our little pig didn't win. After the pig races we came home. She looked at me and said I was the best dad ever. I don't care what else happens that made it all worth while. I am sore and my heart is leaping around in my chest but it is not dangerous and while I know I will be exhausted tomorrow, I had today and it was THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Today, I made a pretty big mistake. First, the day itself went pretty well. I didn't walk today but decided to take a day off. However, the PVC's continued and one was extremely painful. I thought I was going to get a call but it did not come. So, I know that despite the pain they are not dangerous and I just have to accept that they are going to be a part of my life. The new medicine is not working as they continue. I just wish they could get them under control but I guess they cannot. Even while I write this they are there and causing me to be a little short of breath. Sometimes, i do wonder if some of this could be panic attacks but I don't have anything to be panicing about.

I continue to be able to eat. It is wonderful! I eat grits and eggs for breakfast then have a protein bar with shake for lunch and for supper I have tuna and some soup or potatoes. then, I have my treat for the day which is no sugar added ice cream!! yum yum!

Now for the major mistake. I had to feed my dogs and had bought a 40lb bag of dog food this past weekend. I forgot to ask the young man who brought the bag for me to dump the food into the trash can where I store the food. So, I lifted the bag and it was way over the weight I am supposed to lift. I felt the pacemaker pull right away and now the area is once again swollen. I wonder if I will ever learn my lesson. I can feel the pacemaker firing off but I suppose that is a good thing.

Well, that was my day. I hope yours was great!

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Today was another good day. Not as good as yesterday but still a good day. I was able to walk again for about 10 minutes. The difference was the PVC'S kicked in right away and have been going all day. I have sent several reports to the monitor folks. They called me around 5pm which spooked me a bit but they said they were not getting clear readings which meant there was a issue with the monitor. I had to change the electrodes which I had already changed but apparently they were defective. I am back up and being monitored. If this continues, I feel I am truly on the road to recovery. I'm still getting tired and I still have chest pain but I am guessing it is just something I will have to live with. I continue to be able to eat and I am getting some good rest so I think that has made a world of difference. God is faithful and I feel his love and support every day.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Today has been the best day I have had since the bariatric surgery in August. I woke this morning and took the girls to Maw Maw. I came back and decided to take a walk so I walked to the hwy and back twice. It was a brisk walk for about 10 minutes. I did not have a noticable PVC!! I did have some discomfort in my chest and a dizzy spell but it was not that bad and I felt so good just having that walk. As the day went on, I had a few PVC's but I did not get as tired as I have been. After a short nap, I woke and fed the dogs. I bathed my youngest daughter and have settled down for the evening. I am tired but it is a good tired not a overwhelming tired like it has been. I hope this day is a foreshadowing of the days to come!!

I have been approved for disability through Nov 1. That is great news! I do wonder if the heart monitor would pick up issues while working though so we may decide to wear it after I return. I do know the monitor is sending things without my pressing the buttons. They told me this would happen if the monitor detected something even if I didn't feel it. I know it is good news though because they have not called me and told me to go to the hospital. I think it is probably PVC's that I don't feel which means I have them more often than even I thought.

On the weight front, I have continued to lose weight. According to our scales at home I have lost another 5lbs. I am able to eat things now which is a huge releaf. I eat a lot of beans which are loaded with protein and grits. I love both and they don't get old.

So, I feel I am on the mend. I just hope today is not a one day wonder and that I will continue to improve. Thank you Father for your love and mercy!!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

today I have had a lot of PVC episodes and it continues to frustrate me. I just wish there was a way for them to stop them. I wonder if I will just have to live with them. Today, we took our girls to the fair. I was so worn out just walking around the fair. Even if I sat it did not seem to help. The pain in my chest and upper stomach area was so intense. We went to the OakRidge concert which was fantastic and my youngest daughter was tired so I put her on my lap. She did not realize what she did but she basically headbutted my right on the pacemaker. The pain was incredible. I am concerned she did some damage and may need to call the cardiologist tomorrow. The area is really swollen and hurts even now. I have taken the pain medicine and just trust it will work.

On the food front however, there is nothing but good news. I am now able to eat beans and rice and I even ate a piece of sirloin burger no bun this past Friday. Beans are loaded with protein so that is great to be getting them down. So, the saga continues.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Today I have felt pretty good. I have had a lot of PVC episodes and they continue to frustrate me. But, at least I know they are being monitored and they are not advising that I go to the hospital. God continues to be faithful and I am resting in the comfort of his love. The one thing I have learned above all others things is his faithfulness is never ceasing. Other practical things I have learned is to make sure your affairs are in order no matter your age. I have prepared my will, power of attorney, and even my funeral plans. I have the peace of mind knowing that is already taken care of.

Well, tomorrow is Church day!!

Thursday, October 14, 2010

today has been a pretty good day. I have had a few episodes but nothing major. I did fine until I had to get the girls. I just don't know why I get so tired after I spend even the least time with them. It is so frustrating. The cardiologist did tell me there is a danger I could pull the wire lose from my heart. If I do, then they will have to do yet another surgery. I am to take it easy and do basically nothing with my left arm for 6 weeks! That will be so hard.Maybe I need to wear the sling to keep from using it.

On the food front, I was able to eat some beans and rice for supper. I had beans for lunch as well and grits for breakfast. This is the first day since the band was put in that I had three distinct meals. That is progress. No meat today but plenty of protein in those beans.

I simply cannot allow this to continue. I have got to get over this and get back to work. I want to go to work but right now I am just not ready.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Bariatric doctor says I am not ready for an adjustment. They say my weight loss is right on track but that I should no longer be getting nauseated. The nausea is not as bad but it is still there. they also were concerned about my heart and felt it was just too risky right now. The doctor told me that some people just do not tolerate the band and if things don't get better they may have to take it out. I will admit I have mixed emotions about that. I am glad it is in and it certainly has helped me with weight loss. But, at the same time, are some of these health issues related to the band? I tend to think so but not all. They also told me they cannot do an adjustment until I am able to eat some meats. So, tonight for supper, I ate some tuna. No bread just the tuna. I was able to get it in without any issues but we will see if it causes problems later. I am to go back in 4 weeks for them to determine how best to proceed.

On the heart issue, the monitor is on and I have had a few episodes today. Nothing major. Hopefully they have seen them. It is going to be interesting to see how I do at night.
The heart monitor is on and activated. It is weird to think I have to wear this for 2 weeks but I think it will get me some answers. I continue to lose weight. Today, I have an appointment with my surgeon but I don't want any adjustments. At least not at this time. If I stop losing then I will want an adjustment. I have not heard back from my disability specialist since I called Thursday. I called again yesterday and really would like to hear back. I continue to be concerned this is going to go on for a while. But, I want to get to the bottom of this so I can have some peace of mind. Thankfully, I have a great wife and wonderful kids who love me and support me. Right now, the swelling in the left shoulder from the pacemaker continues. It can be painful but usually goes away.

Yesterday was a very special day for me. Cottia, my oldest daughter had a little accident at school and we had to take her to the medical center for some staples. After we left I got to spend the rest of the day with her. I took her to the farm so we could ride on the golf cart. then, we left and visited with my cousin. then, we bought fair tickets and went out to eat. I loved every minute of it. After our meal we took birthday invitations for my youngest daughter to my other cousin's house. Cottia was so sweet. It was one of the best days I have ever had.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Today has been a pretty good day. I have had several flutters in the heart but they have not been painful so that is good. when I woke this morning I picked up the house a bit and did the dishes. then, I spent the rest of the day resting. Emily is sick so she came home early from school. we both took a long nap which was nice. We dont get a lot of time like that together. Now, Eva is sick. She is running a fever and throwing up. I am worried I will get it and selfishly that would not be good. Right now, I am fine but it seems my luck that if it is out there I am going to get it. right now, though, my focus is on my little girl. Emily was not home when I got her with her so I had to pick her up on my own. the place in my shoulder where the pacemaker is has swollen like a grapefruit. I will just have to keep an eye on it and hope it goes down. Please pray for my little girl. It is so hard when they are sick and I love her so much.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

One thing I have learned is that when I am off work I still talk on the phone. Granted most of the calls have been to doctor's but still I should take a break from the phones. the area over the pacemaker is still swollen. I have been told by two medical people that it should not be swollen this far after surgery. So, I guess I have to call the cardio again tomorrow. Apparently it is the blood around the incision that causes the swelling. I took the girls to Church this morning. I felt ok but as the morning wore on I began to get very tired. My wife is sick so she is not able to do what she has been doing. It is hard for me but I have to do all I can to help out. I was supposed to return to work tomorrow but when I discussed it with my heart doctor he agreed that I am not ready. The monitor is due to arrive Tuesday and to be activated Wednesday. I will wear it for 14 days. I have been told they call when the least little thing happens. This includes in the middle of the night. I may have to consider sleeping in the guest room so Emily can get sleep during that time. I am not sure how much longer I will be out but I would think I will remain out while wearing the monitor. Still, the weight loss is progressing. So far, I have lost 90lbs. I go back to the bariatric surgeon Wednesday but I do not feel I need an adjustment. Not until I know for sure what is going on with my heart. If I stop losing then I may consider it. For now, the journey continues.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Today has been a good day. I got up, picked up the house, and washed dishes. I did get tired but I did not feel washed out like I usually do. I rested for several hours then took the trash off and got my new medicine. I have been having periodic episodes of PVC's but nothing I can't handle. the monitor has not arrived yet but hopefully it will get here before the end of the day. The weather is so beautiful outside. I really enjoyed getting out even if it was for only a few minutes. Today, I was able to eat some chicken. the kind you buy in a can for cooking. I mixed it with mashed potatoes it was wonderful! time will tell as to how I tolerate it. I am so grateful to have a good day. I hope it continues.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Today has not been too bad other than just being so tired. My cardiologist says he is going to get to the bottom of all this and wants me to wear a heart monitor. they are sending it to me in the mail and I am to wear it for 24hrs. With my luck I won't have any episodes while I am wearing it. It is funny, at this point I simply want answers no matter what they are. I have already contacted my disability and manager at work and that is taken care of. I hope I don't have to go back in the hospital but I do worry that is a possibility. I had some very bad dizzy spells today but they went away. I have not had any serious PVC episodes this afternoon but did this morning. We will see what tomorrow brings.
Yesterday I had PVC episodes throughout the day. Last night I had an especially rough one. So far this morning I have not had any. But, I am heading back to my cardiologist this morning. I find myself torn. I want to go back to work but don't feel I am ready. I really want some answers before I go back. I feel I need that peace of mind. I will post again later once I have gotten my report from the doctor.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

I woke this morning feeling pretty good. I decided to take a walk so I walked from our house to hwy 321 and back which was about .25 of a mile. Not very far. The walk itself was great. It felt good being out and I didn't have any problems. But, when I got home and sat down I had a spell of PVC for about 5 minutes. It was scary and I thought about calling 911. But, I decided to call my cardiologist. They said for me not to walk again until the doctor has a chance to see me. The nurse was going to check with him to see what he thought. I am scheduled to see him Friday but that may change depending on what he thinks. I am still waiting to hear back from them. I have had more PVC episodes throughout the afternoon but they have not been as bad as the one earlier. Everytime I have one though it is unnerving.

I am doing much better when it comes to being able to get nutrician in though.

They are also considering how to proceed with disability.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My left shoulder is swollen like a grapefruit and it is painful. So, I went to my cardiologist today. They said it will get better that I just have to remember I have been through a lot in a month and it is just going to take time. I am still so tired but again they said just give it time. I guess I am trying to make this all happen to fast. I am so anxious about returning to work next week. I want to go back but am I truly ready? Right now, I don't think so and neither does the doctor. But, it will probably be good for me to have my daily routine again. The removed the bandage and gave me some new pads to put on the wound. I am also to stop taking bystolic and return to diovan. I go back Friday and we will make a final decision about returning to work and where we go from here. On a bright note, I had lost another 3lbs. My new jeans are already lose which is an incredible feeling. I don't plan to lose a lot more weight but I just want to make sure I maintain what I have accomplished. After the doctor appointment, I went on a quest and found some ice cream I can have. I can't wait to get into it. Right now, I am living off soup and puddings and protein. All in all that isn't too bad. I am so grateful to everyone who continues to pray for me and to worry about me. I had a true example of friendship today as a friend came over and cut our grass. He showed me true love. So many people have offered to help and we are so grateful. God's people coming through when we need them.

Monday, October 4, 2010

I thought this was going to be a better day but it wasn't. I went to visit my mom and all I did was to drive down there. After I left I stopped by for a few groceries and then came home. I was completely exhausted. I wonder if the pacemaker is too slow. My left shoulder is in quite a bit of pain and I have some swelling. I called my cardiologist and hope to hear back from them tomorrow. I have not had a bowel movement since Thursday so something is wrong there as well. I just can't get my energy back and wonder how much longer this will go on. I feel so discouraged right now. But, I am not going to give up. My girls and wife are counting on me and I love them too much to give up.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Today is the Lord's day and homecoming at my Church. 175 years of serving God and spreading the gospel. I got up and showered to go. I felt pretty good other than the soreness in my shoulder. People were so kind and concerned. I felt their love and it really made me feel special. I suppose we all need to feel that from time to time. My mother in law left this morning so the real test will begin as we have to take care of things without her help. She has been invaluable over the last few days taking care of the girls. As Sunday school went along I became more and more tired. I tried to stay for worship but just could not. I am so wiped out right now. I got a good nights sleep and thought this was behind me. Hopefully it is just a 1 day event. I plan to rest this afternoon and hopefully start walking tomorrow. We will see.

Happy birthday Sardis Baptist!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Today was a pretty good day. I didn't do very much so I didn't have any stress to deal with. I did have some pains in the chest that radiated to my neck but it passed. There was also a small pain in my left shoulder but it also went away. Right now, I feel pretty good and hope I have really turned a corner. I am thinking I may go to Church tomorrow. It is homecoming and I really want to go but I don't expect to stay for the meal after. On the weight issue, my mom made some squash soup which was very good! I was able to get a lot of it in and it did not make me feel sick or nauseated. I ate a small amount of mashed potatoes but mostly I have sipped on the soup. I also am getting sugar free popcicles in my system. I have not decided weather to go back for an adjustment. I am so disappointed in the way my surgery center has handled things that I may consider finding another center for my follow up appointments. Don't get me wrong, the surgery center did a lot arranging everything and making the surgery happen but they have yet to follow up with me which makes me think their only interest was making the money on the surgery and not my actual well being. I am not sure I want that as a part of my care. I really want a doctor that has my best interest at heart which I know I have with my cardiologist. I have done all the contacting when it comes to the bariatric center and on several occasions they have not even bothered to call me back. When I called them about the issue with my mouth they said it was thrush without even seeing me. I had the doctor check it out at the hospital and she said it was not thrush. So, I have been taking something that I did not need which really frustrates me. That is just one example of how my surgery center has not given me the type of care I feel I deserved. I even called an office manager last week twice and have yet to hear back from her. I know folks are busy but come on. If I do decide to have an adjustment, it will probably be only once. I don't feel I need to lose very much more weight and right now, I am happy with where I am and the foods I can eat. I truly feel I have been given a second chance at life with the pacemaker and the weight I have lost. I will make a decision on how to proceed with the surgery center next week.

Friday, October 1, 2010

this blog will be short as my left arm is really sore and hard to use. the pacemaker is in and working great. For the first time I can remember I don't feel my heart beating. It is just like it isn't there. I am tired but really believe this is going to be a turning point in my life. I have lost another 3lbs so the weight loss continues. God is so faithful and his mercy always amazes me. I am scheduled to be off work for 1 more week. I have a follow up appointment with my cardiologist Friday and hopefully he will allow me back to work. Bottom line, the pacemaker may be the best thing that has happened to me.