Sometimes it amazes me how God manages to push me even when I want to just sit still. Today, I had my counseling session and it just makes me feel good to talk about the issues in my life. Right now the biggest stress is worrying about my disability and if the extension will be continued and if this issues is permanent or can it be fixed and finally will I be able to keep my job. I really want and need this job and now that we are up against a time table my stress level is up.

Today I really did a lot but it felt good to do things. I had some tremors and some chest pain and right now I am totally exhausted but I did things. I just don't want to over do things and have a set back. My doctor's biggest concern is overdoing it but today was the last day before Emily and the girls leave for the beach. I will be alone for a week which does kind of worry me but at the same time it will allow me to challenge myself and get some rest.

I talk a lot about what is wrong with my health. But, there is also a lot right about my life. For example. My children love me and reach up for kisses and hugs. My wife made me home made squash cassarole (sp) to enjoy while they are gone. I have friends who care enough to help us out when their own lives are busy. I have my God and he sustains me. I get to snuggle with my little ones and tell them how much I love them and how beautiful they both are. God has given me so much so even if the worst happens. Even if this is permanent and I do lose my job, I have the love of my children and family and one hug makes all the problems go away even for a minute. The pain is still there and walker is still there and the speech is also an issue but those eyes and hair and little arms make it all bearable. So despite it all I am a blessed man.