Today was one of those days. It started off pretty good and I even had a good morning. Then, that pressure started. I came home and the spasms started. Not sure why but they did. I took my medicine and tried to get some sleep. I did nap but not the normal knock out nap. I have had a lot on my mind lately besides my illness and it is beginning to weigh on me. I have some decisions to make and they are not easy. Don't worry, it is not my marriage or my home life but it is about my life and the direction it is heading in. Life is not always easy and there are choices to be made. I feel God is revealing his will to me and I am afraid to follow it. Does that make me a coward or just cautious? I want to be in the center of his will but how does one figure out when it is the Lord and when it is Satan????? All the signs are clearly there and still I hesitate. My life is yours Father and I will follow where you lead.

On another note, I called another bariatric surgeon and they will take me as a patient so I am going to make that change. I need to feel good about my health care and with Riverside I simply did not.

So, life continues. My weight is holding steady. I'm not losing anymore and I am not gaining but I am happy and feel good about where I am.

Now, if I can get past the incontinence and get back to work at least part time I think I will feel a lot better. Oh, I did not have a movement at all today so I know I can expect it tomorrow. The depends have become a part of my life and now I don't even notice them.

Please pray for guidance for me and the decisions I need to make. Pray for our family and that God will provide.

Thanks. t