today was a day I had big plans for that decended into a day in the bed. I woke feeling ok but then had a bowel movement and the spasms started. It was not a good day. I felt pain the entire day but I did make myself get up and take a shower. I went to Sams for Emily just to make myself get out of the house. The weather was simply beautiful and it was nice to be out. I did experience some chest pain today which is something that has not happened in a while. It even went down my left arm but it never got intense just constant. I hope nothing is developing and I fear it is just stress. I also just did not feel well at all. Like I am getting a cold or something. I am tired and feel like I am depressed. I certainly hope that is not the case because I have had a history of severe depression in my life. This feels different though. Just like I am weak and run down. I suppose I am entitled after all I have been through. God has seen me through thus far and I know he will see me through till the end. My short term disability runs out March 6th and my next doctor appointment is on the 9th. I do have long term disability and the benefits are still very good but they do not take out contributions to my 401k plan and I would be paid monthly if it goes that far. I honestly don't think it will. But, I do think I will have to go back part time at least for a while. I am going to discuss how all this works out if I am on long term and work part time. My hope is to return to work part time for 2 weeks then transition back into full time. Hopefully nothing else comes along. God willing this will be the end of what has been a very long journey.

One thing I will say is I still have pain from the lap band itself. If I am going to keep the band I am going to have to get used to this pain probably for the rest of my life.