Today I called the surgeon's office again but have not heard back from them. The pain in my back has now moved all the way to the small of the back. I am concerned and don't understand how this could be happening. I expected pain in the rectum (no laughing) but not my tail bone. And for it to be moving cannot be good. Something has got to be done to get me some releaf.

I weighed tonight and was impressed that I have lost another 5lbs! but, I told my wife it also worries me because I have been eating especially this past weekend so I did not think I would have lost any weight. I am grateful but also worried that something else is going on.

Last night was very rough with my heart too. I could not fall asleep and sweated. The pain was so intense but once again I chose to ride it out instead of doing the smart thing and calling an ambulance. I think I am embarrassed that this seems to happen so often yet they find only minor things. There is comfort in knowing they don't consider these issues with my heart to be life threatening but living with these episodes is really difficult.

I am scheduled to return to work Dec 7th but wonder if that will happen. I am so glad I have the kind of disability I have but really want to get back to work. I just don't think I can take the pain and do my job as it needs to be done. I am still having to take pain medicine which does worry me. I am afraid of becoming dependent. I only take it when I can't stand the pain anymore hopefully it will pass soon.

I hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and will remember all we have to be thankful for in our great country.

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