Today's blog

Today, I met my counselor. He actually is more of a behavioral therapist. He said we need to meet weekly so my next appointment is Monday at 10am. I am to bring a digitial recorder as this will be more like a class than actual therapy. It is designed to help me cope with conversion disorder and how to react to the situations that trigger episodes. After the session I had occupational therapy. It was a functional session not just a work out. He said I did pretty well but my balance is still off especially in the front. I was able to reach to the sides with little difficulty but the front is still an issue which means I am still a fall risk. I did not have physical therapy but need to go through a functional session tomorrow with that. Hopefully it will be a morning session. The nurse is also coming tomorrow and I do know they are thinking about changing my medications. They feel eventually I will be able to get my balance issues under control but the tremors are another story. Since they are not sure what triggers them they don't fully know how to treat them. So, that is going to be an ongoing process. I meet with my primary doctor Friday to go through the notes and see where we go from here. Tomorrow will be challenging but everyday is challenging. Getting around the house is pretty good but getting out is another story. so, we have to figure out a way for me to deal with the public and stressfull situations. Still, God is in control and our family continues to appreciate all the prayers and concern.

Today, I saw the ENT who also said what I have is a neurological condition. He wants to follow up with me in 4 months. The good news is my hearing loss is about the same and has not changed but he wants to monitor for any changes which is why I am to come back in 4 months. Speech Therapy also went well but the key is starting off slowly. I tend to get flustered and excited which starts the fluency issues. So, I have been given some relaxing techniques in the hopes it will calm me so that I can carry on a more fluent conversation. I did have a tremor at the doctor's office but it calmed down and I had one when we went out to eat but it was minor. I think at this point the tremors and getting my strength back are the most important things. Right now, I just feel so tired.

Tomorrow, I meet with the counselor and will see what he has to say. I have decided to seek legal advice regarding all the issues I have been through so we will see where that goes. Emily continues to be the rock that holds the family togetherand we continue to move forward as a unit led by a merciful God and by friends.

I especially want to thank our pastor's wife for taking me today. It was greatly appreciated.

Today was a pretty good day. I had a great work out with physical therapy and my blood pressure was 110 over 70!! I did all my exercises and even though I got tired I made it through. This is going to be a very busy week with several doctor's appointments and therapy. I meet with my family doctor Friday and we will chart where we go from here. One thing I refuse to do is rush things. I want to be back to where I can work and produce for my family and be the man they all deserve. I have to admit that I am worried about Cottia. I know she is scared and worried about her dad. But, I am determined to be her dad and to be the best dad I can be for both her and Eva even if I don't get any further than I already have. Still, when you look at where I was compared to where I am now it is like night and day. God is in control and I trust him and his plan to the end.

Today was a pretty good day! I had great Physical Therapy and my blood pressure was outstanding. In fact it was probably the best day I have had. My therapist told me not to get too excited but she felt I worked very hard. I can say that I feel very tired and weak right now but I am so glad to have a good work out and such great blood pressure. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the ENT and speech therapy. Wednesday is going to be tough with counseling, physical and occupational therapy so I will be worn out Wednesday They are still stumped as to why my toes go numb and I continue to have the pain in the top of the foot. They are not too worried about the swelling in the foot but just say I need to keep an eye on it. I see my family doctor Friday and will probably know more about where we stand and where we go from here. But, the bottom line is slowly but surely I am getting better. I know God has a plan and I trust him to see me through all of this. However, this time, I will not rush it, I will wait on his timing.

Easter blog

Today was a very important day. Our Church hosted our annual Easter egg hunt and lunch. then, our family had our annual get together to celebrate the risen Lord and Savior. I wanted to go to both but expected it to be hard. I had occupational therapy this morning and I had taken a shower so I was already tired but still wanted to go. Emily took the girls to Church then came back for me after therapy was done. I knew I was already weak but still managed to get to see my girls hunt for the eggs. I got extremely whobbly (sp) when I entered the Churcch but I think it was due to all the excitement. Some friends brought me a chair and I was able to sit down and gain my composure. The girls had a good time which was the most important thing. I do think they are beginning to accept things as they are which is good but I still hope and believe things are going to continue to improve. After Church we went to my cousin's house. It was good to see everyone. I was excited and had some tremors but my aunt had some xanax (sp) which calmed me down and I gained my composure. Once again the most important thing was the girls had a good time. I felt weaker than normal but again I had a lot going on the past few days with the trip back from Virginia and therapy so I think it was to be expected. I plan to attend Church tomorrow but have to keep calm. I just don't like folks seeing me tremor. Everyone is so wonderful and understanding and it is a pride thing for me but I just really want to sit and enjoy worshiping the risen Savior with my Church family. We will see how the day goes. Emily has prepared a wonderful Easter meal for us after Church so we will celebrate as a family as well. I know I still have a long road ahead of me but God is in control and I do see hie hand working in a mighty way!

So, tomorrow we celebrate the risen Savior and the hope of all mankind. Thank you Jesus for all you have done for me and how you love me despite myself. Happy Easter everyone!

The last few days have seen the full gambit of good and bad. Two days were not very good at all. The stuttering was bad and I felt weak but I got out of the house and walked for a little while. It amazes me how tired I get from just doing the slightest thing. On the other hand, I have tried walking some without the walker even though I am not supposed to and did ok. I only did that in the house though not outside. I have also learned how important it is for employers to have those push to open door buttons. It is difficult to manage a walker and try to open and keep a door open. So, one lesson iswhenever you see someone with a walker or wheelchair make sure to hold the door open for them or to push the handicapped button to help them. My walks outside have really felt good but I get really worn out from them and my left side continues to go numb. Especially my left foot. I get tingling in the arm and some shooting pains in the calves always on the left side. It is just so frustrating. I continue to hope for a full recovery but I have not seen the counselor or my primary doctor yet so I dont know what to expect. Those appointments are next week. I continue to do my exercises and am ready to get home so I can be in my own environment. I have enjoyed our short stay in Virginia and the family here has certainly treated me very well but there truly is nothing like being home. I'll continue to update as the days go on.

Now it is important to note that I am known for taking long naps but today's was long for even me. I didn't sleep very well last night as I have begun a sinus infection. Breathing is very hard when you only have one nostril to breath through. So, I tried to sleep last night but just could not so I got up and came around to the couch. That worked ok but I still was not able to sleep very well. Emily and her mother took the girls to the park and I went back to bed. I think it was around 11:30 and slept until a little after 5. I am still draining but feel pretty rested. I gave the girls a bath so I feel like I did contribute at least something to their day. On another note, I did have another small tremor when I stood up earlier today. I think I just have to remember that I am supposed to use the walker and that is not an option. I have tried to move around without it some and thought I did pretty good but I have to be smart and do what the therapist have told me so that I dont fall and hurt myself any worse. Time will heal all wounds but it is just frustrating. Still, I am so much better now than I was just a week ago.