My cousin Sherrell took me to the doctor today for my follow up. My cousin Anna would have taken me but she is in Mississippi and could not take the time off. But, she promised she would send me a meal and some cheesecake to make up for it so I guess all is good! LOL. I had a tremor when we got to the doctor's office. I lost my balance so they had to bring a wheel chair. The doctor has increased my valum dosage to 10 miligrams and I am to take it as needed. I really like my doctor, he is patient andd caring. He wants me to see a counselor and not just a behavioral specialist to determine for sure that this is conversion disorder. He offered such clear instructions and guidance and I feel so good about where we go from here. He also will coordinate my disability. They will call and set up the appts for the counselor and follow up with my home therapy. We did not set up my follow up with Dr. Griggs but I am sure that will come next week. After the trip I was so tired and worn out but felt good about where I am and where we go from here. Bottom line is we are making progress and I do feel I am in good hands. As Dr. Griggs put it let's make sure this is indeed conversion disorder. If it is great we can continue to treat it if not, let's get some answers and treat the condition with proper medication. He ordered me handicaped parking pass and ordered me not to drive until further notice.

I enjoyed my time with my cousin as well. She was so helpful and comforting. I am truly blessed to have her and my family.

Today was not a good day. The storms started it off but it didn't get much better. I am very tired tonight so I won't blog much but it is a good thing that the nurse made a visit today. My blood pressure started at 140/92. then 140/88, then 160/100, then 132/86, and finally 140/80. My pulse rate went up to 96. The nurse is recommending either I increase the miligrams of valum or that I take it 4 times a day. There really is no reason for my bp to have jumped around like it did so I am glad I am seeing my regular doctor tomorrow. There is also no reason for my heart rate to have increased as it did. One thing they suggested is when I feel my bp and heart rate going up that I listen to music to try to relax. So, I will certainly do that. It is so obvious that I am not handling stress very well so we have to learn how to do that. I also fell today but did not hurt myself. Just a rough day. All of the therapist agree that I should not try to return to work anytime soon. So, we still have a ways to go.

Today's blog

Today, I met my counselor. He actually is more of a behavioral therapist. He said we need to meet weekly so my next appointment is Monday at 10am. I am to bring a digitial recorder as this will be more like a class than actual therapy. It is designed to help me cope with conversion disorder and how to react to the situations that trigger episodes. After the session I had occupational therapy. It was a functional session not just a work out. He said I did pretty well but my balance is still off especially in the front. I was able to reach to the sides with little difficulty but the front is still an issue which means I am still a fall risk. I did not have physical therapy but need to go through a functional session tomorrow with that. Hopefully it will be a morning session. The nurse is also coming tomorrow and I do know they are thinking about changing my medications. They feel eventually I will be able to get my balance issues under control but the tremors are another story. Since they are not sure what triggers them they don't fully know how to treat them. So, that is going to be an ongoing process. I meet with my primary doctor Friday to go through the notes and see where we go from here. Tomorrow will be challenging but everyday is challenging. Getting around the house is pretty good but getting out is another story. so, we have to figure out a way for me to deal with the public and stressfull situations. Still, God is in control and our family continues to appreciate all the prayers and concern.

Today, I saw the ENT who also said what I have is a neurological condition. He wants to follow up with me in 4 months. The good news is my hearing loss is about the same and has not changed but he wants to monitor for any changes which is why I am to come back in 4 months. Speech Therapy also went well but the key is starting off slowly. I tend to get flustered and excited which starts the fluency issues. So, I have been given some relaxing techniques in the hopes it will calm me so that I can carry on a more fluent conversation. I did have a tremor at the doctor's office but it calmed down and I had one when we went out to eat but it was minor. I think at this point the tremors and getting my strength back are the most important things. Right now, I just feel so tired.

Tomorrow, I meet with the counselor and will see what he has to say. I have decided to seek legal advice regarding all the issues I have been through so we will see where that goes. Emily continues to be the rock that holds the family togetherand we continue to move forward as a unit led by a merciful God and by friends.

I especially want to thank our pastor's wife for taking me today. It was greatly appreciated.

Today was a pretty good day. I had a great work out with physical therapy and my blood pressure was 110 over 70!! I did all my exercises and even though I got tired I made it through. This is going to be a very busy week with several doctor's appointments and therapy. I meet with my family doctor Friday and we will chart where we go from here. One thing I refuse to do is rush things. I want to be back to where I can work and produce for my family and be the man they all deserve. I have to admit that I am worried about Cottia. I know she is scared and worried about her dad. But, I am determined to be her dad and to be the best dad I can be for both her and Eva even if I don't get any further than I already have. Still, when you look at where I was compared to where I am now it is like night and day. God is in control and I trust him and his plan to the end.

Today was a pretty good day! I had great Physical Therapy and my blood pressure was outstanding. In fact it was probably the best day I have had. My therapist told me not to get too excited but she felt I worked very hard. I can say that I feel very tired and weak right now but I am so glad to have a good work out and such great blood pressure. Tomorrow I have an appointment with the ENT and speech therapy. Wednesday is going to be tough with counseling, physical and occupational therapy so I will be worn out Wednesday They are still stumped as to why my toes go numb and I continue to have the pain in the top of the foot. They are not too worried about the swelling in the foot but just say I need to keep an eye on it. I see my family doctor Friday and will probably know more about where we stand and where we go from here. But, the bottom line is slowly but surely I am getting better. I know God has a plan and I trust him to see me through all of this. However, this time, I will not rush it, I will wait on his timing.

Easter blog

Today was a very important day. Our Church hosted our annual Easter egg hunt and lunch. then, our family had our annual get together to celebrate the risen Lord and Savior. I wanted to go to both but expected it to be hard. I had occupational therapy this morning and I had taken a shower so I was already tired but still wanted to go. Emily took the girls to Church then came back for me after therapy was done. I knew I was already weak but still managed to get to see my girls hunt for the eggs. I got extremely whobbly (sp) when I entered the Churcch but I think it was due to all the excitement. Some friends brought me a chair and I was able to sit down and gain my composure. The girls had a good time which was the most important thing. I do think they are beginning to accept things as they are which is good but I still hope and believe things are going to continue to improve. After Church we went to my cousin's house. It was good to see everyone. I was excited and had some tremors but my aunt had some xanax (sp) which calmed me down and I gained my composure. Once again the most important thing was the girls had a good time. I felt weaker than normal but again I had a lot going on the past few days with the trip back from Virginia and therapy so I think it was to be expected. I plan to attend Church tomorrow but have to keep calm. I just don't like folks seeing me tremor. Everyone is so wonderful and understanding and it is a pride thing for me but I just really want to sit and enjoy worshiping the risen Savior with my Church family. We will see how the day goes. Emily has prepared a wonderful Easter meal for us after Church so we will celebrate as a family as well. I know I still have a long road ahead of me but God is in control and I do see hie hand working in a mighty way!

So, tomorrow we celebrate the risen Savior and the hope of all mankind. Thank you Jesus for all you have done for me and how you love me despite myself. Happy Easter everyone!