Not an aweful lot to post today but this morning when I got up to get Eva up I fell. I really hurt myself and it is still painful tonight. I scraped my knee and my tailbone is really hurting. My back in really hurting but I'm moving around ok but I took a pain pill and it pretty much knocked me out for the day. I took a nap in my chair and Cottia crawled up in my lap and fell asleep which is unusual for her these days so it was nice to have her take a nap with me.
Emily make some cube steak and mashed potatoes and it was very good. The family is having fireworks at the farm but I really did not feel like going so we are staying home. I have gotten where I just don't really want to do anything on New Years eve but stay at home and avoid most any crowd.
Well, that is about it. I hope everyone has a great New Year and I pray God's blessing on you. Have a good and safe one.

t

Today I had the girls for the entire day. It was nice to just stay home with them. I couldn't do very much but they are pretty self sufficient. This morning though I woke to Cottia having tried to make her own breakfast. She had combined grits and oatmeal with milk and water and tried to microwave them. What a mess. So, I had to make a decision. Do I punish her? Or, do I just let her know she made a mistake and not to ever do anything like that again. I chose the later. It took some doing and a lot of pain but I got the mess cleaned up and got her something she could eat. Lunch was not complicated just hotdogs and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Strange mixture but it was she wanted. Eva just wanted the sandwich. I still don't think she is feeling quiet herself. The girls were so good and played together and cleaned up after themselves and we had a ball. It also gave Emily a chance to stay in town and get some things done. My legs hurt like never before and it does worry me but the doctors say there really isn't very much they can do.
Well, that is about it. Needless to say I am pretty worn out but I enjoyed every minute of it just being with my girls. They are so special and even when they get into trouble it is hard to get mad at them. All I have to do is look at their faces and my heart melts.
We were also blessed to have Jason and his cousin Jordan come over and load our woodbox and take our trash out. The girls did not want Jason to leave and so he has been accepted as a part of the family and they love him like a brother.
So, tomorrow our God daughter is coming over and we are looking forward to having her as well. She is such a big part of our lives and it will be nice to have her in the house. She will spend the night and then go home Saturday. We will exchange Christmas gifts with her and it will be a very noisy house to say the least.
Once again, I pray God's blessings on each of you and that God will guide your steps. As for me, pain is just a part of my life and I have learned to live with it. My legs hurt the most and now it is in the right leg as well but life moves on and I will continue to fight to regain my life and be the man all these women deserve. It is my duty and it is my honor to be involved in all these lives. Thank you Father for allowing me the opportunity to do more than just be a man with a disability.

Well, we are back home from Virginia and the trip home was not that bad. We did run into some traffic. But, Emily did a great job getting us home safe and sound. The biggest problem for me was the pain in my legs. It was overwhelming. I thought I would not even be able to walk. But, we stopped and I got out and stood next to the car to get the blood pumping. But, the pain remained. I wonder if I should call the doctor but I'm just not sure there is anything they can do.
The problem came when we got home. Eva got sick last night and threw up several times. Emily would get the throw up and put to the washing machine while I drew baths. We had two baths and one this morning. The last time I looked at the clock it was 4:30am and I know I was exhausted and Emily had to be. So, I got up with the girls this morning and let Emily sleep in. When she got up I went back to bed for about 2 hours and then got up. I had to get my medications so I had to go to town and I wanted to see my mother so I took the girls with me to give Emily a break. They were both so good. We went by the pharmacy then to see mom. I was wheeled to her room because I did start to tremor and was afraid of falling. We didn't stay long but I know it did mom a lot of good and so it was worth it. Then, we had to pick up a few groceries at Wal-mart. This was the first time I had taken the girls with me but they seemed to enjoy riding the scooter so it was kind of fun for them and we didn't get much. Then, back home. Now, I am sitting and resting and watching TV. But, the pain in the left leg is still very intense. Still, I had a great time with both my girls and they were so well behaved. I just hope Eva has a better night tonight for several reasons. One is she needs a good nights rest, Second, her mother needs a good nights rest and finally, I need a good nights rest and it would mean she is over whatever caused the throwing up. She never ran a fever so I don't think she is contageous but none the less, she is my little girl and I just want her well and active.
I do need to consider a visit to the doctor but tomorrow is the only day I can go as my doctor is not in his office on Fridays and I would have to see another doctor. But, I think they will just tell me there is nothing they can do and to continue with the plavix and therapy that is the only treatment.
Well, that is about it. It is good to be home and we are thankful that God gave us a safe and wonderful trip. I pray that those who read this are blessed and that God gives you a wonderful new years!

t

Well, today is Christmas and the kids were very happy with their presents. They started waking up around 2am. I think Eva had nightmares because she would scream from time to time but she was sleeping from what I could tell so I didn't have to get up just lost sleep. Cottia would toss and turn and every now and then I would look down and see her eyes open. It really was cute to watch them with the anticipation of this morning.
Our trip has been pretty good so far except I did fall in the bathroom and my butt really hurts. I think I sprained my wrists again but once again there is no reason to go to the doctor because all they would say is there really isn't anything they can do and I already have pain medicine so I'll just get through it.
Emily and her mom made a great Christmas supper and we all enjoyed it a great deal.
I have some decisions to make that are not easy. I'm still disabled but I also want to work. I have to decide between trying to sell insurance or trying to find another job which is a tough decision. I'm not getting any coordinating work but maybe that will change after the first of the year. We will just have to wait and see.
My chest is hurting and I'm sure it is due to stress but I guess we will see.
Well, that is about it. I hope everyone that reads this is richly blessed and that includes those that read this for reasons other than just to keep up with the family. I also hope everyone had a great Christmas.

Today was therapy day and I am really sore tonight. But, things are progressing. Mom got moved to the same rehab hospital I was in and I am thrilled. I truly think they will do the very best for her. I know it will be hard, but it will be good for her and it will make her stronger. While I was there I asked for the same team that worked with me to work with her because I know how good they are. I just hope her stay isn't that long and that she will be able to come home soon but she will not be home for Christmas and I know that is bothering her. Hopefully she can still have a good Christmas and get a day pass to come home for a while.

Tomorrow we leave for Virginia for Christmas and I will admit I have mixed feelings about it. It was my idea to spend both major holidays up there but with mom in the hospital and another good friend of ours in the hospital with chest pains it does give me pause. Still, I just want to get up there and for the kids to have a great Christmas.

Well, that is about it. My legs hurt and I'm tired but I know Emily is too and hopefully she can get some rest while we are in Virginia. I also don't know if I will be able to blog while we are up there, it depends on if I can get on a network but if not, I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and that God will richly bless you all.

t

Today is a very special day. Today 12 years ago I married Emily. It is hard to believe that it has been 12 years. One thing I can say about my wife is that she is a lady. She is a mother and she loves the kids at the school where she works. She cares more deeply than she let's on. Her heart is bigger than she wants to let on but it is there. She is quiet and keeps most of her emotions to herself but she loves very deeply as well. She has stood by me through all this sickness and an uncertain future. She lives her faith and is an example to others. She is not perfect but she is mine and I am glad and blessed to have her. We were able to go out to dinner tonight and have a great supper together and then rode through some gardens lite up for Christmas. Ours is a life blessed with two little girls. A warm house and lots of love. It is not perfect, but it is ours and I am grateful to God for having her. Thank you Father for putting her in my life. No matter what ever happens in my life I am a better man for having this woman and I give you all the praise and glory for her and all she does and means to so many people. That is all I am going to blog about tonight. It is just one of those days that no matter what happens, I am blessed and the greatest blessings besides salvation is my wife and her love. I pray God blesses you all and gives you a great Christmas.

t

Today has been a rough day. Emily had to go shopping and my mom was still in the hospital but being moved to a new room so I had to watch the girls. I never mind watching them but it just wears me out so much and I am afraid of falling but we got some lunch then I took them to play to get their energy out. I sat in my chair and did fall asleep and Eva got into Emily's makeup so I had to clean that up which was funny but also challenging. My legs are in a lot of pain right now and they are so cold which means the blood disease is in full swing. I just have to deal with it. Then, I found out that a great man of God that I have known my whole life passed this afternoon. He had a stroke a few days ago and we all knew it was only a matter of time but it was still rough. His wife played the piano in our wedding and has played many times for me to sing at their church. While we rejoice at his homecoming we are all deeply saddened by his passing. Just a sad day for our community.

I did get to speak with mom for a few minutes. She is really out of it but she is resting comfortably and hopefully will be able to come home before Christmas.

Well, that is about it. Needless to say I'm worn out and in a lot of pain tonight but I'm used to it. I did have some tremors and thought I was going to fall twice but I didn't so that is good. Tomorrow is our Church's Christmas program and Cottia is in it so I am looking forward to that and watching her perform.

So, another day in the life. I pray God's richest blessings on you all and that you will seek his will in all our lives. Have a great Sunday and praise his name in all things.

t

Today I started the day by getting the girls up and going again but they did not cooperate very well. But, as usual, they did get dressed and ready for the day. I took Cottia to school then had a few things to get done before I could get some rest but I was back home by 9:30 and was simply worn out. I needed some rest. So, I sat down and watched some tv and then took my nap.

My mom's surgery went well but she had to have three screws put in and a pin. She was put in the ICU as a precaution due to her other health issues. I understand if all goes well she will move to another room where she will stay for probably 3-5 days. Then she will be evaluated for rehab. I hope if she has to go to outpatient or inpatient that she ends up where I go. They have an excellent staff and I know she will get the best of care.

The girls seem to have had a great day and got some presents from Maw Maw Judy and Cottia got a present from her teacher. All in all not a bad day.

Well, that is about it. I'm still pretty worn out from this morning but am looking forward to a quiet night of watching tv and going to bed. I pray God's blessings on each of you that read this blog and that he will touch you in a special way during this Christmas season. Take care and God bless,

t

Today was a pretty quiet day. I got up and got the girls ready to go all though it wasn't easy and they did need some help from mommy today. I think them staying out till 8pm on a school night is not easy on them when they are used to being in bed earlier than that. Thursdays seems to always be rougher than any other day of the week. But, I took Cottia to school then came back home to wait on news of mom and what was going on. Originally I was told she would have surgery starting between 1 and 1:30. But, her hemogloban was low and she needed blood so they gave her two pints of blood and plan to do the surgery tomorrow. The good news is the bone seems to have slipped back into place so all they have to do is put the pin in. The bad news is mom never does well during surgery and they usually have a hard time waking her after. So, tomorrow will be another stressful day of waiting. It was decided that it is best if I stay home instead of trying to go to the hospital because if I have a tremor then the hospital will probably have to admit me and if I fall then they will have no choice. I did suffer a lot of tremors early in the day but once I knew how her day was going I began to calm down and so did the tremors. It is hard thinking about her being up there but her husband is with her and she sounds like she is going to be ok. Her husband whose name is Vance says the doctors don't seem too worried about the procedure and she should do fine. So, we just have to get through it.

So, that is about it. As for me, my leg continues to be in a lot of pain and so are my wrists. I almost fell once today but I didn't which is good news. Well, I hope you all have a good night and I pray God blesses you all very much.

t

Today was counseling day and I always look forward to that. We have reached a point now where I think we are going to really be working on some issues that I have may have not wanted to face. But, it is a big step towards healing. So, please pray for me as I travel this road which may be painful at times but I think it is necessary.

Cottia and Eva seem to have had pretty normal days. Eva continues to cough but no fever and she is full of energy go I think she just needs to let it run it's course.

The bad news today is my mom fell and broke her hip. She is in the hospital and will have surgery tomorrow and will have a pin put in. I am not sure how I will handle things because seeing her may upset me leading to a tremor but then she is my mother and I feel I need to be there. The last thing we need is for both of us to end up in the hospital so I will see how I feel in the morning and what I think is best to do.

Please pray for my mom and may God richly bless you in all ways.

t

Pretty typical Monday. No therapy so I spent most of the day resting. I was sore from the fall last night and the knot on my right wrist has gotten a little bigger and the pain in that wrist is also worse so apparently it took the brunt of the fall. Other than a headache everything else was ok.

Eva seems much better but her nose hurts which is from the cold she has. Poor thing. I feel so sorry for her because I know how that feels and it is really painful. Still she is playing and seems to be feeling like her old self.

Cottia had kind of a rough night from a behavior point of view but she made up for it with her school work. I am so proud of her and while I don't fully understand how the Montesorri (sp) school works from what I gather she is ahead of most of the students in her class. We just have to keep her focused and keep her trained on doing her homework and moving forward. I could not be more proud of her and her school accomplishments. This Sunday she will be in our Christmas special at the Church and she is really working hard on that so I know she will do well.

Well, that is about it. Emily is at the Beta club inductions tonight so I am waiting for her to get home. I hope you all have a great evening and pray God's richest blessings on you all.

t

Eva seems much better tonight. She is still coughing but her fever seems to be gone. I stayed home with her this morning and this afternoon as Cottia had practice for the Church's Christmas program. It wasn't much to do because she was so sick. So, she get her dolls and we basically snuggled and watched a little tv. When Emily and Cottia got home she ate a little and then went back to bed. She slept for several hours and after she got up, I gave her some medicine and she ate some yogurt. But, the best news is she seemed to have a lot more energy. I gave her more medicine and then we set back down and watched some more TV. She felt better but still did not seem to be 100% back to normal. Finally, mom and Cottia got back home from practice and it wasn't long before Eva was ready for bed so I put her down and she smiled and blew kisses at me. We kind of have a tradition because I can't reach over the railing when I put her to bed so she knows she has to crawl up the side then I guide her over. So, since I can't reach all the way down to kiss her we just make kisses at each other. You would have to see it to fully understand but it is a nice tradition for us.

Cottia is doing fine but last night Emily got up with Eva because frankly I didn't feel very well myself and I didn't hear her which is very unusual for me. I can sleep through a phone ringing and even an alarm clock going off but if one of my children makes the slightest noise I hear it. But, not last night. So, I hope Emily can get some rest tonight.

I didn't eat a lot today myself but I still tried to do some things and one of them was to put down a rug in the front room that had been washed. I turned around and apparently did it too fast so of course I fell. I didn't really hurt myself but I think I did aggrevate my wrist sprain so I am wearing the wrap again. There is a slight scrap on my knee and I have a bit of a headache but I don't think I hit my head. I think I am just tired and my body is just causing me to have a headache.

So, that was basically my Sunday. Nothing special just another day in the life. I do feel a little pain in my chest area but it is more like rug burn than anything else so I think that is from the fall. I pray God will bless you all and pour out his blessings on each of you.

t

Today was a pretty typical Friday. No therapy or very much to do. I was able to get some rest but as I write this my heart is giving me some trouble. The old elephant on the chest thing but I'm going to give it some time to pass before worrying about it.

The girls seemed to have a good day but my Eva does not seem to be feeling too well. I gave her some medicine before putting her to bed. I knew she wasn't feeling well when she asked to go to bed instead of being told it was time to go to bed.

Cottia went over to the neighbors house to play and I think she will sleep well tonight. At least I hope so.

Jason is coming tomorrow to spend the night so I will have all three of my kids in the house so that will be nice.

Well, that is about it. the pain in the leg has moved to the lower back but is also still in the leg but there really isn't much that can be done. So, life goes on.

I pray God's blessings on you all and pray that he will smile on all your dreams. Have a great night and weekend.

t

Today was one of those good news bad news kind of days. First for the good news. I woke this morning and helped get the family going as I always do. The girls were not as good this morning as usual but I think that has to do with Wednesday nights Awanas. They get to bed later than they are used to but still have to get up the next morning and go about their normal day so I think that is why they are a little more cranky in the morning.

I did take Cottia to school like I usually do. She seemed to be ready to go to school and when she got home this evening she seemed to have had a good day. Eva was typical Eva. Too much toothpaste and playing in the water in the bathroom.

I had therapy and physical therapy was very painful. The therapist did some work on my calves which on the left leg is the most painful from the PVD. The pain was off the chain. In fact I would go so far as to say it hurt worse than any of the falls I have taken. The only pain that has been rough is the pain in the tailbone. But, I also was able to stand and sit 5 times on my own. I did have some tremors but I didn't fall. I did every exercise but the doctor has already told me that the disease is not going to get any better and the only treatment is plavix and the exercises I am doing so at least I have the comfort in knowing that I am doing all I can do. Then it was off to speech. My fluency is better but the speech doctor said she noticed a lot more vocal tremors today but some of that may have been from being so tired from the physical therapy.

I came home and was very tired so I got some rest and waited on the girls to get home. I woke up, took a shower and then decided I would try to do some things around the house. So, I folded some cloths and even that just took it all out of me. Normally it is my job to give the baths but tonight I asked Emily to do it. I just did not have the energy. I napped on my chair but I did help with the girls supper before hand.

Now, I am resting and watching TV and waiting on tomorrow. The pain in my left leg lower calf area is off the chain right now but it is from the therapist and the work he did on my leg.

So, that is about it. I am exhausted and have decided to try to go back on my protein diet to lose some more weight before Christmas. I pray God's blessings on you all and that his perfect will would be done in your lifes. Have a great night!!

Well, as it turns out the weather did get bad today and it is still raining as I am writing. I did get Cottia's laundry done but man do my legs hurt and my wrist is really hurting. But, I got it done. It still amazes me how tired I get just doing so little. My heart also seemed to be out of sink today. Like it was off a beat or something. Not sure what that was but it straightened out after a while. I do wonder if that is why I get so tired. As of now it is still set for Feb 22nd for my appointment in charleston. I still have hope that it will get moved up but we will have to see how that works out.

Tonight is Awana's at the Church and I am not so sure that the girls should go but I'll let their mother make that decision.

Well, the girls should be home shortly and I hope they had a great day. I always look forward to hearinng how their day went. They usually seem to enjoy telling me about their day.

Well, that is about it. At least so far no falls today so that is good news. I continue to pray that God will bless you all and keep you in his perfect will. Have a good night and an even better day tomorrow.

t

We had a pretty good weekend but I didn't go to Church due to the pain in my wrists. We got the Christmas decorations up and the girls were delighted. It is so wonderful to see that gleam in their eyes. I can tell Cottia is very worried about me and it breaks my heart. No little girl should have to worry about their father it should always be the other way around.

Tonight is a prime example. She was in her schools Christmas program which I went to. The walker was difficult to use on the floor but I made it to the auditorium. I did have a tremor and almost fell but I didn't and the show went on as they say. She did so well and looked so cute up there. My mom and her husband plus my cousin all came and I know it meant so much to her. But, when we were walking in and back out she did not want to get too far ahear of me. Witnessing the fall outside I think has taken it's toll on her.

I am supposed to have counseling tomorrow but they are calling for rain and I am nervous about driving in the rain so I cancelled for this week. I will look forward to next week. '

I continue to be amazed at God's grace and his mercy. Despite it all we are all still together and moving forward. I don't know what his plan is but I want to follow it and be in the center of his will. Ironically enough I also want to just be left alone. I want to be working and while I have gotten used to not working I miss that everyday interaction with the people I used to work with. Despite all that happened there are a lot of good people there and they make up for the few that do not have the client or employee's interest at heart.

Emily continues to amaze me at all she does. She is truly amazing. I still long for a third child but doubt it will ever happen. But, I will leave that in God's hands. I have to get well first. So, that is about it. Again, I hope you all have a great evening and may God richly bless you. t

After the fall yesterday I thought today would be an easy day but I decided to try to do some things that I probably should not have because I wanted my girls to come home to some Christmas things and be excited. Well, I fell again this time on the steps in our house. I hurt my shin and it really hurts pretty badly. Then, Cottia and I were outside and she was bringing in some things and I fell again but this time it was really bad. I hurt my right knee and both wrists. There is some swelling in the right knee and a bump on the right wrist. The left does not seem as bad but it is painful. I'm not going to blog a lot again because of the pain my wrists are in but I think I will go to the urgent care tomorrow just to get checked out. My chest is also hurting from the fall so it has been a rough day but Emily and the girls are home and a very good friend of ours came over and was kind enough to do some things for us. I am just tired and ready for all this to be over but it shows no signs of letting up. I don't think I have had three falls in two days since this whole ordeal began. I just pray it will get better but I also have to do a better job of taking care of myself and realizing my limitations. So, I will just leave it at that and wish you all a good night. I continue to pray God's blessings on you all and that his perfect will would be done in your lives.

On a lighter note Eva said that she has been both good and bad this year. Well, at least she told the truth and the elf has made it's first appearance which is good. I love this time of year and despite everything that has happened to us I am determined to make this a great Christmas for our girls.

Well, thatt is about it. Have a good night and again, I pray God's blessing on you all.

t

Today was rehab and I thought things were going pretty well. We were working on the stairs and I had my left foot on the floor while holding on with both hands. I felt I was doing pretty good but I fell. The good news is it was a more controled fall than before but the bad news is as the day has gone on the pain in my wrists both wrists has gotten worse and there is tingling in my fingers. I am still considering weather to go to the doctor or not but I will give it tonight and see how I feel tomorrow.

I'm not going to write too much because it hurts but I will say that I am sick of all of this. I did get a call that they do have me on a waiting list but they do not expect me to get to see the movement specialist before the Feb date.

So, with that I will just say I wish you all well and pray God's blessing on you all. Take care and have a good night.

t