Monday, October 31, 2011

Today the pain in the left leg was really bad and I had some dizzy spells so I spent a lot of my time in bed. I did make some very important phone calls regarding my insurance and tried to do a few things but I refused to not go out with my children tonight.
Last night was kind of rough. I had a little stomach thing going on and Cottia threw up so I did not get to bed until about 2am. I think Cottia had just eaten too much candy she seems fine today.
So, after a longer than usual nap I got up and took a shower. It was hard without the chair but I managed. I am not sure what is taking so long to get a new chair but I have to do the best I can and needless to say I won't get into detail but at least our shower is small.
The girls were so cute. They were dressed as repuncil (sp) and they really had a good time. It was obvious that Cottia was worried about me because I could not get out of the car but I was there and that is what counts the most. So, we started the evening at First Baptist in Gaston and the girls just had a blast. The first words out of Cottia's mouth was "you're not getting out?" I explained that it was just a bit too much for daddy and she seemed to understand and then went on to have fun. I waited in the car and then we went to our Church. The girls got lots of candy and had a blast and once again their mom was just incredible.
So, now we are home and all the makeup is off and there are two exhausted little girls in bed who really had a great day and beginning to the holiday season. Their mother has to be exhausted and there dad is just grateful for all he has. Despite it all we are still together and that is nothing to be taken for granted.
Tommorrow is therapy and I hope I get some answers regarding my insurance. Then, after half a day I'll be worn out just like I am now and all I did was ride. I did help get the girls ready for bed and put the little one down. We had our usual singing together which is the perfect way to end the day. I pray God's blessing on all who read this and hope he speaks to your heart.
Oh, one more thing on the health side. I am beginning to have the cramps they said would come in my calves. They aren't too bad but they have started. That is a part of the vein disease. So, I am increasing my water intake and hoping for the best. Cramps are the worst pain to me but hopefully it won't get too bad.
Well, that is it and I once again wish you all a good night and pray God's blessings.
t

Sunday, October 30, 2011

We had a great weekend with Emily's mom and step-dad. They do so much for us when they are here. It is always hard to say goodbye to them but hopefully it won't be too long before we see them again. Eva had a great party and once again my hat's off to my wife for all she did and how hard she worked. She does so much and pulled off another great time for the kids. While I do good to take a shower without falling and get myself dressed hoping I won't fall over against the wall. But, I have to say that would be funny if it ever did happen. Even I would laugh at that.
I have had some feedback on the blog and some people want me to continue to talk about my health issues while others say they have stopped reading because it brings them down. So, I am trying to do a mixture of both. So, here is an update on how I am doing. The pain in the left leg continues to give me problems and I really do worry where that is leading. It is also in the right leg but just not as bad. After Eva's party we went out to eat at Lizard Thicket and on the way out I almost fell again but thankfully there were some others there that helped. It seems as though those rugs they put out in those places are a real problem for me. But, I do the best I can and just have to take things slow. Doors combined with those rugs are a real problem. My vocal quality is much better but stringing sentences is also still a challenge. We are working on a trio/quartet at the church which should help and it brings me back to my roots of singing. I practiced with them today and I felt it sent well. I look forward to the day I can sing in front of our church again no matter the role weather solo or with a group. We will just have to see how it goes. One thing that is of concern is as I understand it I only have 4 more visits available under my insurance to rehab and that is it for the year. So, I may have to end that until next year when a new insurance takes place and see how it goes. None the less God is in control.
Well, that is about it. God continues to guide and despite it all we continue to move on. May his will be done.
Oh, the girls had a great weekend and it is such a joy to watch them having so much fun. I pray God's blessings on everyone who reads this and I do mean everyone. Have a good one everyone!!
t

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Well, the family from Virginia has made it safe and sound and we are glad to have them. I probably won't be able to post much the next few days but will try when I can. I had a good day at Rehab. They are concerned about my balance but I think I am making progress and will continue to work hard.
Now we are preparing for our precious Eva's birthday party this weekend. It is hard to believe she will be three. But, she grows more beautiful everyday.
Cottia got a smilie face today after two rough days at school so I am very proud of her.
Well, that is about it. The pain is still there and very intense at times but I am dealing with it am beginning to just deal with the fact that it is a part of my life.
Well, again, I'm not sure how much I will be able to post over the next few days but I pray God will richly bless you all and that you have a great weekend.
t

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Today has certainly not been my day. I got the girls up but they did not want to get up. Well, actually Cottia did not want to get up. So, we were running behind a bit and I don't like to take showers without someone here in the house just in case. I hated that Emily had to take both girls this morning but I had rehab to get to so I took my shower. Well, this was the first time that I actually fell while in the shower. I landed on the floor and hit my right hand on the toilet. I think I may have chipped a bone or even broken it but it is not swollen too bad and the pain is barable. I landed on my left side and had to sit there for a while to compose myself. I yelled for help but they were already gone. It was the most helpless feeling I have ever had in my life but I knew I could not just lay there naked and alone. So, I was able to get myself up on the toilet. The shower chair was broken and I had torn down the shower curtain but I managed to dry myself off and get dressed. Originally, I felt numb more than pain but eventually pain settled in. So, I took my medicine but decided to go ahead with rehab because it is just too important. Ironically enough my speech session went very well. I was calm and composed and I took things slow which really makes a big difference. Physical therapy just took things slow but it also went well and we worked on ankle strength and leg strength. Then, I had to stop by walmart for something for Cottia and then get my prescription refilled. I am now home and my pain meds are taking affect so I will soon be out. But, I think I have learned never to go into the shower without my phone. The rehab hospital said they will help with getting me a new chair so that is good. Right now, I just want to rest.
On some brighter notes Eva got to go to a farm today with maw maw and I can't wait to hear about how much fun she had. Cottia and Eva are going to my mom's for the afternoon and then my mom will bring them home because Emily has to get her allergy shot and I will probably be knocked out. Such is my life. Well, I may blog more later but for now that is about it. The right thumb is the most painful place I have but I expect I'll be sore in the morning.
I wish God's richest blessings on you all and ask that we get some answers when we go to Charleston. Still no date on when that will be but I am ready to go and hope for the best. Have a great afternoon and again God bless you all.
t

Monday, October 24, 2011

Today I fell again. Nothing really. I went outside and just fell over. I did break my cell phone cover so there really is just no use for me to keep buying them. Over all though I had a pretty good day. I got my retirement moved to an individual account and I was able to practice some on the system I will be using for the new job. I really can't wait to get started and really feel good about this.
The morning started off pretty normally as I able to take Eva to Maw Maw's and then went to the Milling company. I bought some bails of hey so Emily and the girls could make a fall festival pumpkin thingy in the front yard. But, I can't load them or unload them so it was up to the guy who works at the milling company to load them and then Emily unloaded them. I felt bad that she did that but she is one strong woman!! Well, I went back outside with them and watched as they decorated it. The girls had so much fun and it was nice to see them having so much fun. I just want their lives to be as normal as possible.
This Saturday is Eva's third birthday and it really seems impossible that she is three!! The family is arriving from Virginia on Thursday so we will have a house full.
Well, that is about it. I hope and pray everyone has a great night and God rishly blesses you all.
t

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Not really a lot to talk about. Pretty typical weekend. Emily and Cottia went to the football game Friday and I stayed home with Eva. She was in bed by 6:30 so not much for me to do other than watch a movie and wait on text updates on the game from Emily. It is interesting how I used to live for Swansea football and now I'm glad when they win but don't really care one way or the other. My life just seems so much different these days, things I used to care so passionently about I no longer have an interest in. Oh, again, don't get me wrong, I'm glad our team won and is winning but if they lose it won't bother me where as before I used to be so upset. I have grown to enjoy my Friday nights at home and really enjoyed the time I had with Eva even if it wasn't as long as I had wanted.
Saturday I got my hair cut along with the girls and had hoped to spend some more time with Eva but she wanted to go with her momma to town so I took Cottia with me and we went to my mom's and did a little fishing. I always enjoy that time with Cottia but I am worried that I am not spending enough time with Eva. So, I try to make sure to at least put her to bed at night. I am still able to give her a bath and we do snuggle and sing and then she has learned how to climb in her crib which does make me wonder when she will be crawling out!! But, for now, I'll take what I can get with her.
My pain in the left leg continues to be there. But, it is what it is. This week is Eva's birthday party and Emily is busy getting things ready and working hard to make it the perfect day for Eva. I have therapy and counseling and really hope I can get going on doing some group coordinating. The ringing in my ears is also getting worse but I think that is stress related.
We had Jason over last night and it was nice to have him back in the house. We had a very nice talk about his future and various subjects. I normally try to get to bed a whole lot sooner than I did last night but I have not had the chance to talk to him in a while so it was good to spend the time with him. I just want for him and his life.
This morning was Church and I think I have solved my church choir problem. Our music director said we can work on some 4 part harmony and that will keep me from having to drive after dark. So, I think that problem is now solved.
Well, life goes on and so does time. The family from Virginia should start arriving Thursday and then the party is next Saturday. Well, I certainly hope everyone has a great week and may God richly bless you all.
t

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Well, I haven't blogged in a few days. Just not much to talk about. I missed counseling Wednesday because it was raining but that was a mistake. I should have gone but I am nervous about driving in the rain. The ringing in my ears is back and worse than ever but I think it is just nerves and maybe a little pressure from the job and worrying about disability. But, life goes on. I am still waiting on when the appointment will be in Charleston. I did call today and they told me it was at least 2 weeks to get the appointment and then I am not sure how long it will be before the actual apponintment will be. Today they did a balance test on me at Physical therapy. The lowest you can score is 14. The highest is 56. I scored 13. I really expected to do better but I do think it explains why I fall like I do. But, I am chosing to look at it as a goal. They will retest in a few weeks and see where I am. Hopefully, I will be in the 20's or 30's. Setting goals is very important IMO and I am ready to keep working. Speech is going well and I think I am going to join my cousin's church's choir for practice purposes only but it should help me string sentences together which is very important.
On the fun side of life, Cottia played waitress tonight and even demanded a tip from her guest which was her mom. I was the boss. It was great to see her having fun and relaxing. Now for an Eva story. She passed gas and they both laughed. Then, Cottia looked at me and said sometimes when you have to fart you just have to fart. It was one of those classic moments that can only happen from a child. I am so blessed to have them.
So, that's about it. I hope everyone has a good night and may God richly bless you. He has me.
t

Monday, October 17, 2011

Not much to blog about today. I spent most of the day in bed. I woke around 5am with chest pain and it was really intense. So, I took some aspirin and nitro then went back to bed. That always causes a headache. I continued to have the chest pain throughout the day and just felt so weak. I did have some sweating spells but I decided not to go to the hospital or the medical center. The pains always let up and I refuse to waste anymore of our families money. So, physically that is about it.
Now, for the great news!! My girls are home and my oldest has lost her first tooth!! She was so excited to show me the tooth. She is so cute and of course the youngest one says she is about to lose one too. So, this will be our first visit from the tooth fairy which is exciting. I love these moments even if they are reminders that my little girls are growing up.
Well, that is about it. The house is back to normal full of little girls running around and making plenty of noise and we are grateful to mawmaw and pawpaw for taking them on the trip.
I pray everyone has a great evening and that God will richly bless you all.
t

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Well today was Sunday and Church day. It was unusual to not have to get the girls ready but it was also nice to be able to sleep in for a while before heading off. I'm not sure why but a friend of mine tapped me on the shoulder which caused me to start tremoring. It was that old trick to try to get me to look over the wrong shoulder. The tremors settled down during the service but then we went out to eat and I saw another old and dear friend and his family and the tremors started again. They were worse today for some reason. I don't know it it is because the girls are gone and I just miss them or what the reason was but eventually they also passed. Needless to say, I was exhausted so Emily brought me home and we both had nice long naps.
When we woke, Emily continued her cleaning of the house and I did all I could to help. It amazes me just how exhausted I get doing the simpliest of things but that is just the way it is. The last thing I will say about my physical condition is the pain in the left leg is worse today but I think it was because I tried to help out and did everything I could. I refuse to allow my wife to do it all even though she tries.
Now, on to the fun and great things that happened. We had a great sermon. But, not a big crowd. I guess it was just too cold for folks to get out. Lunch was great and we really enjoyed spending time with a dear friend and I think having grown up conversation for all of us was very good. She also neesds the time with us and we are grateful for the time we had with her. I also enjoyed watching my beloved wife hold the baby. I got to hold her for a little while but I was tired and having some chest pain so I passed her to Emily. I thought Emily would pass her back to her parents but instead she held the baby through the entire sermon. Emily is a great mother but for her to just hold a baby is not normal but wonderful to see. I'm not sure why but it gives me hope that there still may be a baby or at least another child in our future which gives me even more reason to continue to fight. The baby is beautiful and quiet and she reminds me that no matter what happens and no matter how bad things may get that life goes on. That is a gift that only a God of the ages can give.
Well, that is about it. I continue to pray that God richly blesses you all and that everyone has a great night and week ahead.
Oh, I'm not sure when I will see the movement specialist but I hope it is soon and I am ready to get that behind me. All though I am looking forward to the trip to Charleston. It is my favorite city in the world. Hopefully we can take some time to enjoy the city itself.
Again, have a great night and God bless.
t

Friday, October 14, 2011

Ok, don't laugh but I got confused. Yes, I admit it I got confused as to where my neurologist office was and parked in the wrong parking lot. Well, I was told I could walk to their office but I didn't know how far it was. I was using the walker and it was quite a distance. By the end of the walk I was exhausted and frustrated which led to tremors. Well, the hospital staff of course got ahold of me because they just weren't sure what was going on. I was stammering but it really was just because I had worn myself out. So, they were going to take me to the ER but I refused to go back to that place and said just get me to my doctor's office and I'll be fine. Luckily there was a doctor there and he checked my pulse and ordered a wheelchair and they took me on to the doctor so I didn't end up in the ER. The neurologist office said they could not allow me to drive given how bad the tremors were at that moment so they called my mom and her husband who came and got me. He did tell mom that as a neurologist he has really done all he can and thinks conversion is the diagnosis and that stress and anxiety brings on the tremors. I also know he asked me some questions as to what date it was but I had no idea. I did know it was October but I always have to check my phone for the date. I also got the day of the week wrong but I got the year right. But, I think a lot of that had to do with being upset and the fact that the girls were off school and just a lot of things going on. So, he did tell my mom that he wants me to see a movement specialist and that he wants me to go to MUSC in Charleston. Continue with counseling and he will see me back in January. So, that was my day. Mom and Vance brought me home and I took my medicine and went to bed. The tremors always make me so tired and add the walk just got the best of me. But, I'm glad to be going to MUSC. They are very good down there and I think this is a good idea.
Now, for the fun news. The girls got to go to the fair today with their mom and a young lady from our Church. They had a ball. I'm not sure how Eva was still operating when she got home but she is just a go getter. This morning Cottia was very clingy so I asked her if she was worried about daddy while she was at the fair. Her answer was I really didn't think about you because I was having too much fun.....not sure how to take that but it made me laugh.
Now for an Eva story. The girls are going camping with Mawmaw and Pawpaw this weekend so Emily and I get a weekend to ourselves. I really hope we can go to a movie or at least go out to dinner and just enjoy a quiet house all though I will continue to admit that I have to turn on Eva's music and Cottia's light in order for me to sleep. Well, Emily asked Eva what she wanted to wear to sleep in. Her answer...."pajama's." What a sense of humor and it brought a well deserved laugh.
Well, that is about it. Another interesting day in the life. I pray blessings and God's grace on all who read this and wish you a great weekend.
t

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Today was PT day. I didn't do as well as I had been doing. I had some tremors and was not able to walk as far as usual with the walker. But, my PT specialist said it is that my body just has to get used to the new blood pressure which was 121/81!! So, just a matter of adjusting.
Emily had to work until 7 so I had to get the girls at 245 because Maw Maw was going to a funeral. It was the funeral of a young person which is always tragic and makes you appreciate what you have and to treasure your children every day.
Even though it was 3, I decided to go ahead and take the girls out to supper. We went to Pedros and using the walker can be a challenge there but the girls know that and really behaved themselves. We had a great dinner and time together. Then, I took them to the park so they could play. They had a ball and were typical sisters. They did argue over building a sand castle but they really enjoyed playing and sliding down the slides. All I did was sit on the picnic table and enjoy watching my girls. Then, it was home and Eva was worn out but we had to have baths. They have pretty much learned how to give themselves a bath but I still have to help in some ways. It is hard and my biggest fear is falling but so far so good. Luckily Cottia had to use the bathroom so I got to do one at a time and right after Eva got out and got dressed for bed something else she can now do for herself I put her to bed. She was asleep before her head hit the pillow.
Now, Cottia is watching TV after picking up the house a little bit and I am watching the news. So, that was our day. The pain in my legs is off the chains but it was well worth it. I feel I am making real progress and look forward to hearing what the doctor has to say tomorrow. So, tomorrow is another of those big days.
Emily is taking the girls to the fair and I'll admit I feel left out because there is just no way I can handle it. But, that is the way it is and I'll just be thankful for today and the time I had with them.
I hope everyone who reads this has a great night and I pray God's blessings on you all. May the Lord richly bless you all.
t

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Today was counseling day and I always look forward to that. Tomorrow I will have physical therapy then Friday I meet with the neurologist again and am looking forward to discussing where I am now and where I was when he first saw me. I feel I have made some major progress and hope to continue to make progress.
Not a lot to report but two things that did happen today with my girls that are worth sharing. One is my youngest got a hold of her mom's remote control and mom was at school so it was just me and the girls. We were frantic trying to figure out where in the world she could have put it. We didn't find it and I had to get the girls to Church for Awana's. Well, when I got home I found the remote on the top of the cloths washer. She had put it there when she got her dora pudding for supper. Cottia had a hot dog and we got her homework done before we left for Church but boy was I glad to find that remote.
Then, when I picked up the girls which I have to thank the people that bring them out and help me get them in the car because it is hard for me so I want them to know just how much I do appreciate it. Well, I told the girls we found the remote and they were both glad. Cottia said maybe one day I could marry her!! It was my first marriage proposal from a girl so I told her sure! Nice to know my little girl wants to marry me.
Well, that is about it. I hope everyone has a great night and pray God's blessing on each and everyone of you. Remember there is always someone worse off than you are and God has a plan for your life.
t

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Today I got to hold a baby. I had held her before but only for a few seconds because I was worried about a tremor. But, today her parents who are good friends of ours let me hold her and even though it was painful in my arm and backside because it meant I sat in the sanctuary the whole service, it was so worth it. It reminded me of when my children were baby's and how much I want another baby. But, more than that, it reminded me of how God gives us life. You see, in our Church a family that I see but really don't know very well lost their son yesterday. Yet, they were in Church today. Not bitter, not questioning, not having a pity party just there. I looked at the mother who had lost her son and I looked at the mother of the baby I was holding and I looked at the mother of my children and I thought how amazing it is that God gives women the gift of giving birth. I don't profess to know the pain of giving birth or the heartache of a mother over losing a child, but I do know what it is like to love a child so much that you would die for her. I may have been through a lot this past year and I may still have a lot more to go through and at times life has not seemed fair and I'll even admit that I have felt like giving up. But, holding that baby today was the best medicine I have had. No doctor can give you that feeling of life renewed and just how beautiful it is. I suggest everyone take the time if the mother and father are willing and just hold a baby even if it is for a few minutes. Hold that baby and smell the smell of new life. Listen to them breath and marvel at the fact that a loving God has placed that life on this earth. Then, take the time to realize just how fragile it is and appreciate the moment you have.
Now, I'd like to share two stories about my own children and how they blessed me this weekend. Yesterday, I was in a lot of pain. Pain is a part of my life and my oldest knows it because I complain way too much. I fell asleep during the Carolina/Kentucky game and she took the time to write me a note which I have beside me to keep me going. It isn't complicated but it is from the heart of a 6 year old. It simply says: " I love Daddy, Daddy loves me, I know how daddy feels and I really love him. Then, the drew a picture of me and her together holding hands and smiling. She said I can have it framed and I intend to do just that to remember how much we love each other. Only a child can give that feeling.
My 2 year old soon to be 3 this morning brought her Rapunzel doll into our bedroom after I had gotten up for Church. She gently laid the doll where I sleep and said it was there to protect me. She did not ask for it back and it is still in our bed. After Church on the way home, we asked her how she enjoyed children's church and she said she loved it!! She said: "We got to eat marchmellows! Those litttle ones." Perspective is very important!! And the Rapunzel doll is still in our bed to protect daddy.
Now, I don't profess to know why we have been through all we have been through this year and why things still seem to be happening. I'm still disabled and still struggle with a lot of things. Lord knows, I am not a perfect husband or daddy. But, I still have my children and we still have our home and each other and a God that has a plan we may not understand but one we have to follow and accept his guidance. In the past year, he has seen us through all my health issues, he has brought Jason into our lives, he has made sure we have food to eat and today he has provided reminders of just how precious life is.
I pray God's peace on the family that is suffering right now. I pray God's blessings on the new life I got to hold today. I pray God's blessings on the mother who sat next to us today and sits next to us every Sunday and the life she is carrying and I pray blessings on my sister in law who is carrying my nephew. May the God of the ages look over all these lives and grant them all of life's joys and peace. I pray God's blessings on the mother of my children and grant her peace as she has so much responsibility with our home, finances and our children and the love only she can know for them. I pray for all the Father's out there. I pray that God will gran you courage to be the man he meant for you to be and if you are not stepping up to the plate then I pray God will convict your heart and that you will know the simple joy of holding a child. Men sometimes shy away from that but I can tell you that there is nothing like it. And, finally, I pray God will richly bless each and everyone who reads this blog. Have a great night and remember life is precious and even though we may not always understand his plan, God does have one if we will simply see it through.
t

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Today was my last day of occupational therapy at least for a while. I will miss working with Darlene but it means I am making progress and so I look at it like I graduated and passed a class. I had physical therapy and will continue with that twice a week. Speech will be once a week and continued counseling will be once a week. My BP was high today and I'm not sure why Darlene decided to take it but she did and it started high but not extremely high. Then Horace my physical therapist took my BP and it was 190/120. Very high but I had just walked so we waited a bit and took it again. It had come down to 188/88. I called my doctor and they felt I needed to be seen so they got me back and my BP was 150/96 so it had gone back up and my doctor suggested uping my BP dosage and gave me some samples. So, I was excited because I really thought he was going to put me in the hospital but he didn't. On my way out, I dropped the bag of samples with the prescription and tried to reach over to pick it up. I was in the parking lot which is paved. Well, of course I fell. I don't really remember very much but they got me back in and I had a hard time moving my neck but they basically just left me alone and I calmed down. I was tremoring pretty bad but obviously I could not drive. So, my mom and her husband came and got me and brought me home. The tremors combined with the fall really took it out of me and I was exhausted. I went to bed and was awoke to the most beautiful little voice. I had to fight to wake up but I wanted to see my girls so I did. I was not aware of the time but Emily was giving baths and getting some hot dogs ready for the girls. I was very sore and in a lot of pain but at least I did get to see the girls. I just don't understand why I continue to fall but it is just there and I have to deal with it.
Not much else to tell. I am having a few chest pains tonight but I think that is from the fall. I don't plan to really do anything tonight except to relax and try to take it easy. My left leg is in the usual pain but due to the fall the right side is in pain as well. Sometimes all you can do is laugh.
Well, tomorrow is homecoming at our high school and I hope our team does well. I won't go but will follow via text from Emily.
So, life moves on and I appreciate all the continued prayers.
Cottia's tooth is almost out and we even tried to get it to come out tonight but without success but it won't be long. Of course Eva says she has a tooth ready to come out too so that just shows how normal life can be even in the midst of the storm.
I wish everyone who reads this a wonderful evening and may God richly bless you.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Today was Therapy day but last night was really rough. I woke with very intense chest pain and it lasted for several hours. I finally had to take the nitro spray and then it let up. This seems to be happening more often but I've been told there really isn't much they can do. So, I just take the spray when I feel it is necessary and then go back to bed. In the past I have spoken about how I am able to get around the house pretty good and that continues but today at physical therapy I really had a triumph. I was able to walk for about 165 feet with one of those 4 prong canes. I tremored a bit and worried I might fall but the physical therapist was there and I did have to stop three times but I made it. It was a great feeling.
My speech therapist said the tremors in my vocal area were there again today but again I think that was because of how tired I was from the heart issue last night. We had a good session and I am going to once a week with speech and occupational therapy but will have workouts I can do at home. As of right now physical therapy is still going to be twice a week in the hopes of getting me to walk without a walker or cane outside and in public. I believe this is achieveable and it certainly is encouraging.
The girls are find and tonight was parent teacher night. So, I stayed home with Eva while Emily went with Cottia. It is good for them to do those kinds of things together so I am glad and it gave me some time with Eva. I have been worried about the time I get to spend with her and really enjoy her spirit and zest for life.
Well, that is about it. I made sure that even though I was worn out after the episode last night I still made myself get up and go to therapy because it is so important. I was exhausted afterwards and slept a little more than I usually do in the afternoon. I had a few tremors when I got home but I made it and am so glad that I had today.
Eva is sleeping and looks like such a little angel when she is asleep and Cottia continues to grow and is really becoming quite the little lady. I love them both so much.
Emily continues to go and go and never stops. Her strength and resolve should be an inspiration to everyone. She has stuck by me and I greatly appreciate it.
Well, I guess that is about it. I have counseling tomorrow then PT on Thursday. I pray God richly blesses you all and helps us all to realize just how precious life is but the life to come is even more precious so live this life as you prepare for the next one! Have a great night and love to all.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Well, to say the weekend was interesting would be an understatement. Friday night I was able to go to my first high school football game of the season. The coach and a very good friend helped me. My friend took me by golf cart to the handicapped seating and I was able to watch the entire game. It was a thriller and the biggest game in our town in a long time. And, we won!! We came from a 14-3 deficit to win 20-14. Huge for our program and while I did have some tremors I made it through it. Then, Saturday morning both Emily and I were able to sleep in. I was exhausted and I know she had to be. My daughters did their little cheer thing during half time and I could not have been prouder. They are truly the light of my life. Then, I went to see the movie Courageous with Jason. I was not in the proper mood to see the movie so I want to try and be as fair as I can to it. There are always two ways to react to a movie. You can say what people want to hear or you can say how you really felt about it so I'll do both. For those that just want to hear how great it is I'll say it has a message we all should know and if you have someone who is not saved then I would suggest not necessarily going to the theatre but waiting and buying it or renting it and watching it with them and then talking about what you just saw especially if they have children. For those that want to know how I personally felt about it, I thought the acting was not very good and the story was predictable. I kind of had it figured out in the first 5 to 10 minutes of the movie. There is one actor that did stick out though and I wish I knew his name but the only way I can identify him is he is the African American police officer. He is a good actor and did a good job. I have Fireproof, Facing the Giants, all of the left behind movies and End of the sphere and some other movies like this. 3rd behing Fireproff and Facing the Giants. The Left Behind movies are not completed yet so it is kind of hard to rate this movie with those. But, like I said, it does have a message and if you know someone who is not saved then I recommend the movie but I'm not sure I would go back to the theatre to see it again.
Then, came Sunday. Our Church normally does breakfast but we skipped that this morning because it was homecoming so once again we could sleep a little later. Problem was I slept a bit too much. I got the girls ready and Jason helped Emily with the foods so I could get my shower. We went in separate cars and I was late. I got to Church about 10 and worship starts at 10:30 so I just went on in the sanctuary and waited on Emily and the girls. I know people will find this hard to believe but I really do not like events like homecoming but Emily had worked so hard on making brownies and mac and cheese and I felt I had to stay so I did. I was able to talk with a man in our community that has the same vein disease I have. He is a double amputee something I don't expect will happen to me but it is a possibility and he shared a lot with me. I have a lot of respect for him and his wife and miss them greatly. They used to go to our Church but are now going somewhere else. I think that as the disease progresses I will certainly seek his advice and counsel. Another bright spot for me was I got to hold a baby. It is the baby of a dear friend of mine and it was such a joy. I made sure the mom was there and others just in case I began to tremor and I was seated. I held her for about 5 minutes and it really made my heart sore with joy just to hold a newborn.
Cottia has a lose tooth!! She is so excited and is ready for that first tooth to come out! I want to just freeze time but I know that will not happen. I can't believe she is in the first grade and she is growing so tall. But, she still crawls up in my lap and even though she is not a new born I treasure each and every snuggle and hug and the smell of her hair and her laughter and just the joy she brings to my heart. Eva is also growing and will be three this month. Man, is that hard to believe. One of my great joys is also holding her. I love to rock with her. She will follow me down the hall with my walker and crawl in my lap and we rock and I sing to her. I love kissing her little face and then when she is ready she knows to go to her crib and crawl up the side so I can put her in. Then, I gently cover her in her blanket and stroke her beautiful blonde hair and just fall in love with all over again. The, I walk out and take one final look at her and we both smile and I know that smile will be there the next morning and that is such a great joy.
Well, I guess that is about it. The pain in my left calf has been pretty bad today and in the left ankle but the tremors have not been too bad but I keep on keeping on. I hope everyone has a great night and may God richly bless you.