Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Yesteday was a pretty good day. I woke up, picked up the house for about 20 minutes and then was worn out. I didn't do much else the rest of the day until the evening. I gave the baby a bath and that wore me out but I had to take my oldest daughter to soccer practice. Luckily all I had to do was sit during the practice. I had to use the cane again to walk because I was so weak. But, we got through it. My mother came over and watched Eva for us which was a tremendous help. She spent the night as well which always thrills my heart. It is always nice to have that sweet lady in our home. Today, I woke up really tired despite having a great nights sleep. I am planning to watch a little tv and then will probably go back to bed. I do plan to do some laundry but even that will wear me out. My mother in law is coming today to help and we are looking forward to having her. I have explained to my oldest daughter what is going on. I was able to eat come grits yesterday and soup so my intake is getting better which is good. Tomorrow is pacemaker day. I am so ready to get this behind me. I hope and pray this will be a turning point in my life and that I am going to get my energy back. I believe God is faithful and will see our family through all of this.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Today, I got some answers. I have a heart condition which is causing my heart to beat at a slower than normal rate. It is consistently in the 40's. So, I have to have a pacemaker. The surgery is scheduled for Thursday. It is a pretty routine procedure and I do believe it will make me feel better and able to get my life back in order. I have called my manager and my disability to see where we go from here. The doctor said it will probably take at least a week to recover and that I may have to spend the night. But, all of that is up in the air. The major thing to me is I now have some answers. Hopefully this will correct the energy thing and keep me up and going. I am thankful for that. God is in control so I am in his hands.
Thursday and Friday were pretty good days. But, Saturday and Sunday were not. I went to my daughter's soccer match and had to use my cane to walk from the car to the field. It wasn't that far but I felt so weak. I know my wife became concerned and wanted to take me home. So, we came home and I spent most of the rest of the day in the bed. Sunday, I got up, took a shower and was completely washed out. I did manage to make it through both Sunday School and worship but was done for the rest of the day. I did manage to eat some very thin mashed potatoes and grits over the weekend but it wasn't much. My mom made me some lima bean soup which I love and I was able to get that down. The nausea seems to be better and I think it is because of starting to take the nexium again. I really do not feel I am ready to return to work. My body is just not in shape to return. I am going to call yet again the surgeon's office to ask them about it. I have two doctor's appointments today one with my GI and the other with my cardio. I am curious as to how my heart rate is and what they think is causing the spasms. I will post again this evening once I have had the appointments.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Thursday and Friday were pretty good days but I think it was because I basically stayed in the house and didn't do anything. Today, however, is another story. I was very weak and tired. I did not feel nausea because they prescribed me some medicine to help. I am hopeful that will help in the long run. I have also developed thrush in my mouth. It is very painful but they gave me a prescription for that as well. I was able to eat some very soft grits and a little very soupy mashed potatoes today so that is good. I honestly do not think I am ready to go back to work. I am just too weak at this time. I have to use a cane from time to time just because I get so worn out. The blood tests did show everything seems ok from that stand point. The doctor's office told me I have to remember I did have major surgery. I just never thought of band surgery as major surgery but I guess it is. So, I continue to hope for the best and that my body will make the adjustments so I can move on. From a psychological point of view, I am ready to go back to work. But, from a physical point of view I just don't see it happening. Please continue to pray.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Today I ate my first grits since surgery. They tasted soooooo good. I ate one of the little packets but was only able to get about half of it down. I thought I did ok but as the day has gone on I have felt more and more nauseated. I still have not thrown up but this is the closest I have felt to throwing up. I am also feeling fatigued which I had hoped was behind me. the surgeon's office did not call me back today so I guess it is up to me once again to contact them. That may be the most frustrating thing about this whole process. I think they believe I should be further along than I am and just are not following up with me. I refuse to just go away. Hopeully this is just a glitch in the road and it will get better. Time will tell.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Today I had an upper GI. the drink is very nasty but I got through it. The good news is the band is exactly where it is supposed to be and is working normally. The liquid flowed just like it is supposed to. The bad news is I am having esophogial spasms. They are very painful at times and mimic a heart attack. This explains why I have chest pains so often. But, they do not know why I am having them as the band should be preventing reflux. So, I have to see my gastro Monday and we will see if further tests are required. I also had a complete blood work done and hope to have the results tomorrow. I think the reason I am nauseated is because of the spasms but we will have to let the doctor's make that decision. Overall, today was a good day. I got some rest and feel very relaxed tonight. Friday I am supposed to be able to eat some grits and soft foods like mashed potatoes. I told Emily if I throw up I don't care. I just want something other than protein drink in my system!!

total weight loss is now 83lbs.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I saw my cardiologist today. He took me off my heart medicine to see how I will do. I have to follow up with him Monday. My BP was 120/80. I simply cannot ask for any better than that. They will follow my blood pressure but for now I am no longer on BP medicine. I am also off my reflux medicine. So, as of today, the only medicine I am on is my daily aspirine. The savings we will enjoy on medicines will be incredible.

I went to a nutrician store to buy some protein. It is very expensive but the taste isn't half bad. It is just like flavored water so it is much easier to get down. I am hopeful that once I get past these first few weeks I will not need the expensive protein and can find something that works for less money.

As of today, I have lost 82lbs. My cloths are falling off and I have got to buy some new cloths. That is an incredible feeling.

One of the reasons I am off the heart medicine is it is hoped that it will take away the side effects I have been having. We should know in a few days.

I continue to be fatigued and nauseated but I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may have to back on some medicines in the future but for now I am going to enjoy not having to take several tablets to start my day.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Today, I didn't do very much at all which was probably a good thing. I did wash some dishes and did some laundry which wore me out but I didn't leave the house. I called the surgeon's office and left a message with his nurse but as of right now, I have not heard anything back. I called my cardiologist and they want to see me tomorrow. I continue to be nauseated and feel tired but all I can do is get through it. God is my strength so I really don't need anything else.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

yesterday and today have been really rough. I went to the wedding at Hunting Island and it completely wore me out. All I did was to walk to the chair and sit. I enjoyed sitting and watching the waves come in and the sound of the ocean but how could that wear me out so mucn? I wanted to go with Emily and Cottia for the dolphin adventure but I simply could not. So, I went back to the hotel room to rest. I found myself feeling very sick in the car so I wonder if, for the first time in my life, I am experiencing car sickness. Once I was back in the room I began to feel better. We found some concentrated protein at walmart. 2ozs have 26 grams of protein. I am able to get that in but so far I dont feel it is making a difference in my energy level. I find myself trying to do things once I stand up because as soon as I sit down I am completely exhausted. I think the hardest thing for me is when my family gets to order meals at McDonalds, Hardees, Burger King, or taco bell and I am left there to watch them eat. I find myself wanting to tear into a quarter pounder with cheese, coke a nd fries with all my heart. But, I know I can't and that it isn't good for me so I have to realize this is something I simply have to get used to. I also have been having pains in my rib area on both sides and I don't know where it is coming from. I suppose it could be the healing process but who knows for sure. Everytime I wake my mouth is completely dry and my lips remain parched. So, once again, I feel I need to call the surgeon's office and let them know what is going on.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Today has not been as good as yesterday. I woke nauseated and it stayed with me most of the day. All I have been able to get in was half a protein shake and some water. My lips are dry and my mouth feels like cotten with some moisture. I am very tired today and just want to sleep. I still don't think I am depressed although it is a concern. I did not call the surgeon's office as I thought they might call to check on me but they didn't. I just hate this feeling of weakness and having no energy. But, I have to realize this too will pass and that I have had some good days so as time goes on those good days will become more frequent. ON the bright side, I have now lost a total of 78lbs!! A pound a day isn't bad!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I am a bit late in posting today's blog. Thanks to my friend Troy for reminding me. Today was a pretty good day. I felt more energy but still got very tired towards the end of the day. I felt faint around 6pm and thankfully Emily was here if I had needed her. I grabed the love chair and was able to keep from falling. I had to sit for a while but never actually passed out. I got more nutrition in today than I have been able to so far. So, maybe I have turned a corner. I certainly hope so. According to our scales, I have lost 6lbs this week which means 26lbs since the surgery and a total of 76 since I started trying to lose weight. I am very pleased with that. I am having some strange pains in my right side just below my rib cage but I don't think it is anything to worry about. If it gets worse I'll call the surgeon's office. Right now, I just want to keep the momentum from today and hope it continues.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

I called the surgeon's office today and was told I have to get more protein in or I could really be in trouble. They don't think I am in starvation mode as I am still losing weight (another 5lbs this week). None the less, I was told to try different types of protein and see if I can get it in. As far as the day itself went, it was better than yesterday. I did have more energy over all but got really worn down by the end of the day. Tomorrow I will check out some different types of protein and see if I can get more in. They said I am not getting even half of what I need so that is really not good. If I stop losing weight and continue the way I am going that is when starvation mode becomes a concern because it means my body is saving everything it can to survive. this is more serious than I though. I have simply got to get past this so I can live my life the way I want for my wife and girls.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Yesterday was a good day. I had more energy than I have had since the surgery. I saw the surgeon and he did not seem too concerned about things so I left a bit frustrated but feeling I need to trust them and move on. I did fall asleep on the couch after giving the baby a bath and getting her ready for bed. Emily said I was asleep with my mouth open which I am sure was very funny but at least they did me the courtesy of not taking any pictures or anything else. Today, however, was back to the old. I am exhausted with no energy. I continue to have problems swallowing my heart pill which I don't understand. I did mention that to the surgeon but he said to try to wrap it in a piece of turkey to get it to go down it didn't help. I called the surgeon's office again and hope to hear from them tomorrow. I remain frustrated and tired.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Today is another day of pure exhaustion. I took a shower this morning to go to Church and was completely worn out after. I did go to Church but had to leave early because I was just too tired. When Emily and the girls got home we were able to take a nap so when I got up I tried to clean a little and that wore me out too. I was able to eat a little pudding which is good but I felt nausea this evening. I am going to try to get some soup broth down and hope that will help. I've tried to determine if I may be depressed but I have been depressed before and this does not feel the same. I just get worn out by the least little thing. The main cause of frustration is my girls. Everyone that knows me knows I am a very hands on dad and I simply do not have the strength to do what I normally do with my girls. I am also having problems swallowing. My heart pills are very small and they are difficult to get down so I have to discuss this with the doctor tomorrow. My appointment is at 3pm and we will see where we go from there. But, life goes on. My wife in simply incredible. She is pulling double duty right now and has offered no complaint. I am truly blessed to have her and so are our girls. Please continue to pray for her and our girls. They don't fully understand why daddy can't do the things they are used to having him do. thanks!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Today, I think I am more tired than I have been which is saying a lot. But, I did get to spend the day with my youngest daughter which was great. She is so cute. I have been able to sip as the day goes on and I even got down some sugar free pudding but I did feel nausea. It passed. My hope is my strength will come back and I can get up and move some. I tried to clean a little but just got worn out. I fell asleep in my chair which is also unusual. But, I continue on. The main thing is to keep drinking to get hydrated. God is faithful.

Friday, September 10, 2010

This is another day and another blog. According to our home scales I now weigh 276. According to the doctor's scales, I weigh 280. Either way, I have lost almost 20lbs in a week. While I am glad I have lost the weight it is not healthy. I was not able to see my surgeon as he was off today but the doctor I did see seemed concerned. He said I am severly dehydrated and the band is too tight so he losened it and hopefully that will make a difference. I was a bit surprised they did not hook me up to an IV to get fluids in but he said losening the band should allow me to get fluid in which should take care of the dehydration. I am so tired. I am not to try to eat anything right now and am just to try to drink. So far, I am not nauseated so we will see how this goes. I feel better with the band losened. I can actually breath. So, another day another blog.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

One thing I promised myself was that I would be completely honest in all of these blogs so here we go. Today, I feel I have made a huge mistake. I am sick, tired, and everytime I try to put anything in my system I get nauseated (sp). I called the doctor's office today to see if what I was going through was normal. They said everyone is different which I understand but they seem to think I am simply having lose stool and not diaherrea. I feel I know the difference and I think I have diaherrea. I am extremely concerned that I am dehydrated or am on the verge of dehydration. I am able to sip water. But, I try to sip the protein and I just can't. I get a little in and then begin to feel sick so I have to put it down. I wonder if the band is too tight? But, I am not sure how that can be. I get light headed everytime I stand up. When I called the surgery center today they did say they want to see me tomorrow which is good. If I can get my strength back and am able to put something in without feeling sick I will be ok. If not, I think they may need to take the band out. Time will tell. So, tomorrow is another of those days when I will learn more. In the mean time, for those who care and actually read these blogs, I continue to pledge to be honest with each and every post.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Today has been a little interesting. I continue to be fatigued and have little to no energy. I went to town for a dentist appointment and was completely exhausted after. But, I needed to run a few errands which meant I needed to stay in town for a while. I called my cardiologist and they wanted to see me so they scheduled me for this afternoon. They did an EKG and my heart is beating fine but it is slow. today it was 50 beats a minute. The previous EKG's done at the hospital both showed it in the 40's. So, the doctor said I need to cut the bystolic in half. Since I already have a full bottle he said it would be ok to simply cut the tablets in half and see how I do. So, we will try that. He is going to see me again on Sept 28th before I am scheduled to return to work so we can see where my heart rate is at that time.

On another note, according to the scales, I have lost another 3lbs. So far since surgery, I have lost 14lbs!! That is in a week! Amazing truly amazing.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Today has been rough. I am just so tired. My heart is beating at about 42-46 beats per minute. I think it is because of the bystolic my cardio has me on. I am going to call them tomorrow. If I had more energy, I might be ok. But, I just don't. Tonight, I helped with the girls bath and was worn out after. The pain in the back is still there but I can live with that. I am still concerned I am dehydrated or an becoming dehydrated. I simply cannot get much in. I am sure that is contributing to my being tired as well. So, tomorrow the doctor's get another call and we will see where we go from there. My spirits are good and I am determined to see this through. Right now, it is tough. Please continue to pray as I feel them every day. thanks! t

Monday, September 6, 2010

Today was challenging but I wanted it that way. Today was Labor day and we always have a big family get together for any holiday. My family had asked was I really up to it but I felt I needed them and wanted them around which meant food and lots of it. I think I handled it pretty well. There were moments when I just wanted to dig in and enjoy but I knew I couldn't. I did feel some hunger but nothing major. I sipped on my broth and drank some unsweetened tea and did just fine! I am very proud of myself as this was the first major test past surgery. Everyone seemed to have a great time which also made it worth while. I love family get togethers and food is always a big part of these events. As my body adjusts to the band I will be able to eat but will have to learn what I can eat and how much. For now, I have done well. The next major test will be my youngest daughter's birthday which is not until the latter part of October so I have some time to adjust. On another note, I am concerned as to why I am so tired all the time. I just have no energy. Plus, my back is in major pain. I am sure it has something to do with sleeping on my back but this pain is really difficult. I will probably speak with the doctor's office tomorrow so hopefully they can shed some light on this. Well, another day another pound as they say! Have a great one those who read these posts.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

It is Sunday which means it is surgery plus 3 days. I am doing ok but I have to admit I have had more pain than I expected. I had some issues emptying my bladder after the surgery and ended up spending the night Thursday. I slept well and was ready to come home Friday. I am amazed at how quickly I feel full after just a few sips of broth or water. That is a great feeling. One of my major concerns was feeling hunger but so far it is not an issue. I have had some nausea but nothing major. Today, I drank some tea which felt great. Of course, it was sweetened with splenda. My wife has been amazing. She has taken care of me and our girls during this process. My mother in law also came down and has been an incredible help. My mother has kept a close eye on the situation and also stands ready to help if we need it. People have offered their concern and prayers which I appreciate. I know this is going to take some getting used to but right now I feel good about what I have done. Today I weighed and I have lost another 10lbs. That is truly amazing. Now, I just need to rest as much as I can and walk when I can. Oh, on the walking front, I am walking around the house which is helping. The soreness is getting better but sometimes I have a shoting pain that is hurtful. It does not last long and then I feel better. So, the adventure continues. Thank you again for all your prayers and support. Now, I weigh less than I have weighed in over 5 years. The greatest part of this is I have done most of it on my own. Now, the band will help me achieve the rest of my goals.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Well, this is it. They called this afternoon and I have to be at the hospital at 6:30am. I am glad it is early so hopefully I don't have to spend all day waiting. My hope is they take me back and the surgery is done by 10. If things go well I actually hope I can come home tomorrow but I seriously doubt that will happen. I just keep wondering what it will feel like. I mean, it is a foreign body in me so there must be some sensation. I can't believe the day is actually here! I am excited and scared at the same time. But, I know God is in control and will see me through it. So, here we go. I'm not sure I will be able to blog tomorrow but we will see. If not, I will try to do so Saturday. Oh, tomorrow is the GAmecocks first game and I do intend to watch no matter where I am. GOOOO GAMECOCKS!!