Today started out pretty good but as the day went on I noticed a bit more pain than I expected. I guess I tried to do more than I should have. I did bleed a bit on the wound but nothing major. It is a weird sensation in my leg. It feels like a deep cut kind of numb feeling. I have also had a bit of a headache but that is probably not related to the filter. I made myself stay up today instead of going back to bed even though I wanted to. I have made a decision to get my insurance license while I am out so I ordered the materials for the online course and started my studies. My first chapter did not go too well but I am able to take the quiz more than once and the second time I passed. The second chapter went much better and I passed the second chapter quiz the first time. There are 16 chapters. My plan is to try to do 2 a day while I am out so hopefully that will help with boredom. Now, I need to schedule my exam so if anyone is in need of insurance keep me in mind! Well, they tell me they will call with my appointment time tomorrow. They meet at 1 and the calls start after 2 so I won't know for sure when I have to be at the hospital until sometime in the afternoon. My mother in law is coming and we could use the help. It will be good to see her. Emily and the girls are all doing well. Cottia is full of questions so we have decided not to hide anything from her including the current pain I am in. She is so wonderful and I love her so much. Eva just wants to play so I have to take it easy with her. But, she is worth any pain I may have to go through. Well, tomorrow is another of those very important days. Thank you all again for your prayers.

The filter is in and I am so glad it is over. I am tired. More than I expected to be. I had some great sleep this afternoon and am looking forward to a gret night's rest. I did experience a heart palpation during the procedure but it was nothing to be concerned about. I was awake for the procedure just very relaxed. Today was a day or rest and tomorrow I can wash just cannot take off the bandage. They had some issues finding a vein to start the IV so I am bruised a bit but nothing I cannot handle. My concern there is what will happen Thursday? Will they try to use the same hole or will I have to go through all that again. All, in all, the filter is not a very difficult procedure and it is worth it in the end. I continue to appreciate folks prayers and look forward to the next few days and what God will do.

I'm not sure why but today I have been a bit apprehensive today. Just a feeling things are not going to go as planned. But, I can't put my finger on it. I'm just ready to put this behind me. I think it may have been because I had some difficulty breathing this afternoon. Plus, my heart was acting up a bit just not too bad. I just need some rest and to get my thoughts together. Filter is only 2 days away. I think I will feel better once that is in.

ON another note, according to my mom's scales I have lost another 3 lbs.

Well, the time is getting near. Only 8 more days. The cloths I am currently wearing are beginning to fall off which is an incredible feeling. People are really noticing as well. I need to get a robe and some flip flops so I can get up and walk after the procedure. Thank you Father for giving me the strength to get through.

Today, I confirmed everything with my disability. Now, it is a waiting game. Just a few more days until the filter. Less than a week actually. I am feeling so good and am ready to get this behind. The pants I am currently wearing are getting really lose and it won't be long until I have to buy new cloths. That will be a great moment. I am not looking forward to the first week as it is mainly a liquid diet. But, gradually, I will move back to food. I am so looking forward to buying a new wardrob. I am thankful for the support of my wife and family.

Today was the final meeting with the surgeon before the procedure. I think we finally have everything set. The scales indicate I have lost another 7lbs. Depending on the scales, I have lost between 45-50lbs. I honestly think I will be below 300lbs before the surgery. My expected recover is 2-3 weeks. My last day of work is this Friday. I am so ready to get this over. I still have doubts as to if I need this but in the end it will help me get the rest of the weight off. the best thing is how so many folks are supporting me. I am looking forward to my life ahead.

On another note, tonight during her prayers, Cottia prayed that God would allow Nana to come back for 1 hour so she could see her. It was a very special prayer from a very special little girl.

Well, tomorrow I meet with the surgeon to go over the last minute issues. I am so ready for this to be done. I feel so good about myself right now. God is keeping me strong and seeing me through all of this. This is my final full week of work before surgery.

Tonight, I got on the bed and played with the girls. I didn't get out of breath. The girls giggled and screamed and it was a blast! The weight I have lost so far has already bettered my health. I am so ready for the surgery to be over but my progress right now to me is amazing. God is so good!

Finally! I think everything is set. I have confirmed the PTO i have left today. I have also scheduled my disability and set the time. The filter is scheduled and so is the surgery. Today I weighed and I now weigh less than 305 for the first time since Cottia was born. It feels great! I am so encouraged about my future and hope to continue the progress I have made.

Today, I called the surgery center to ask about the filter again. They said they would check with the doctor and call me back. Needless to say I have not heard from them. I explained that I had talked to three folks who had the lap band and two of the three had the filter. I just don't understand why they are not putting one in me. I really want to cancel the surgery. But, I know my wife wants me to have it so we press on.

Well today is another day. I have really had a good day as far as food. One thing I am concentrating on now is eating slower. It is not easy. I am so used to shoveling the food in and now I have to take smaller bites and chew them thoroughly. but, I do find I am full sooner so I see how this works. One of the hardest things for me is not drinking while eating. I am so used to sipping as I go and now I am supposed to stop drinking 30 minutes before each meal and not drink again until 30 minutes after the meal. But, I will get used to it

On another note, I have spoken with 3 others who have had the band. 2 of the three got the filter the other did not. I am still curious as to why I am not getting a filter. I am going to call the surgeon's office again tomorrow for further clarification.

Today I called and got my disability changed. I also had my final doubts taken away. I really was prepared to call and cancel the procedure. But, I had lunch with my beautiful wife and asked her point blank did she really think I needed to have this done. She is so wise and I know how much she loves me. She said she sees this as a way to help me lose the rest of the weight and help maintain my weight for the rest of my life. She also told me and she is right, I have been up and down with my weight. I simply cannot keep that up. The procedure will help me maintain the weight once it is off. I am nervous and a bit scared. But, I am ready. The praying has been done. The pre op diet is being observed. Weight is coming off and I am getting healthy. I feel so much better having lost the weight I have taken off. Hopefully there will be no further distractions and this will come off without a hitch.

Well, today once again brought more challenges and discouragement. I had my coroded artery study and leg vein study. the good news is the tests were normal. But, today I found out they are not going to do the filter to prevent blood clots. One of the major reasons I decided to do this procedure was because of the filter. Now, I have to change my disability, work with my manager who is great by the way for my days off. Honestly, I am beginning to think this is a mistake. I had lost another 12lbs according to the scales which is so encouraging. Bottom line, I can do this without the surgery. But, I guess on the bright side is the surgery will prevent me from going back to the way I was. The major key is following the program. The procedure will require me being admitted in the hospital Sept 2. The procedure itself actually takes about 30-45 minutes. After the procedure I will be in recovery for about 3 hours. I will get up and walk soon after waking up. I will have to wear some tight thing for my legs. this is to prevent cloting. If all goes well, I will go home the next day. Once home, I will have to be very careful about what I eat. It is mostly fluids for two days then I gradually begin to introduce some food mainly grits and mashed potatoes. Sugar free jello and pudding is also ok. After 6 weeks they will do the first adjustment. It will be exciting to see how much I will have lost. But, I think I will always wonder why I did this when I am doing so well on my own. I will continue to post my thoughts and things around the procedure. My purpose in doing this blog is to help educate those that may be considering bariatric surgery. I hope it helps.

Aug 8 2010

The reality of what I am facing is really beginning to hit me now. Tonight we went to a cook out at my God daughter's. There were hamburgers hotdogs, chili, chips, sodas, watermellon, cookies and sweet tea. As I watched everyone eat I began to realize that these days are going to be behind me. Oh, I may enjoy a burger with no bun and even a chip or two but for the most part these days will be over. That is what I will miss the most. I love going through the line and fixing my burger with chips, potatoe salad, sodas and what ever else is available. After the procedure my stomach will just not be able to handle it. I think about going out to eat with my wife and childen and how my life will change. So many adjustments and yet so much potential to improve my health and quality of life. Is it worth it? Most would say yes and I think I am in that catagory. but, it is still hard.

tomorrow, I work 8-8 so I can save time for the rest of the year. Tuesday, I have my coroded artery study and the mri to determine if I have blood clots. Also, I have to meet with the dietitian again and attend a class about the procedure and life after. Next Monday I meet with the surgeon again then the filter is put in aug 26. It will be here before I know it. Life is changing but change is good......right???

Today is one day closer to the surgery. Everything seems to be set. I have my disability approved and all the preop stuff is scheduled. Now it is just a matter of waiting. So many regrets. If only I had taken control before my weight got so far out of hand I would not be facing what I am facing. The one thing I have proven over the past few months. I have lost 41lbs. I have reduced my waist line. I am improving my health and all of this without the surgery. I feel I need to go through it though for Emily and the girls. So, on to the future and God's will.

August 2 2010

Well, today the surgery center called. They have me scheduled for Sept 2. Big problem is that is opening day for Gamecock football! One big thing still needs to be addressed and that is will they approve my disability on the day they put the filter in. I really want the filter because it prevents blood clots and it is permanent. So, right now, we have a date so let's see if the other pieces fall into place.

On another note, Emily bought me some new t-shirts and underwear. They are smaller and they fit. I feel so good about my progress.

But, today was not a good day from my heart. The jumping was very bad today and the chest pains were really intense. The doctor has told me there is nothing life threatening so I guess I have to accept that but man, sometimes this is very intense. Hopefully the surgery will help.